Sunday, August 1, 2010

Over stimulated sleepy head

A cuddle, a squeeze, holding my hand up covering his eyes. Every muscle twitching a rhythmic twitch from being over worked throughout the day...all the while, pushing right up against me as if to say,"I really had a bad day mommy." It took just 10 minutes for him to unwind, relax and finally fall fast asleep.
From the minute Kenny woke up this morning, I knew he was going to have a bad day. Crying, headbanging, just miserable. He kept wanting to change his shoes which is a tell tale sign to me that he was frustrated. We kept changing his shoes over and over and over again. He'd have a pair on, then 10 minutes later, he'd walk over with another pair of shoes and sit on the floor wanting me to take the ones he had on, off. It was getting me so irritated today so much that I kept telling the older kids to take over with the shoes switching. I really feel that it is a sensory issue that he is going through. Bottles didn't work today and neither did any was just an off day for him.
We went shopping again today to pick up some things that we forgot on the grocery list and also the school supply list. Kenny and Gina were pretty good until they saw the older kids take off and they wanted to tag along. Oh man the screaming and crying just didn't cut it today. We then went and visited a dear old friend...Tony's friends mom. His friend passed away when he was only 19 years old...many years ago. He was the youngest child and also named Kenny. We had a really nice visit with her. Her husband passed away last year and we've been trying to visit her as much as we can. Our kids are her "adopted grand kids" and she is our kids "adopted Grandma". She is one of the nicest ladies around. She was reminiscing about her Kenny and told me that even after all these years, she still so badly misses her son. She told me that the pain never goes away...even as an old lady. I just held her hand and we just bonded for a moment. I just love that woman. Anyhow, she is always concerned with how Kenny is doing and we've been keeping her updated on everything. Kenny gave her a high five, a kiss, and showed off some of his signs that he knows. He then went into the living room and came back with Gina's guessed it, wanted me to put them on him. LOL. I then told the girls to go and play with him. Hahaha...he never did get those shoes on him!
We got home late so, yeah. I ended up making some cheap steaks in the broiler inside the oven (our grill is long gone in some garbage heap...or recycled into a lawnmower or something). I was sooo much looking forward to a steak...since the last time I made one was about 5 years ago...maybe even longer! Now, mind you, it was about 8 o'clock when we actually sat down to eat...mistake #1...mistake #2 would be thinking that I could get through dinner without crying and screaming. Yep...Note to self: NEVER make/eat dinner past 6 pm again. I shoveled down...what I want to believe were a few morsels of tender, amazing steak, smothered with mushrooms and onions...a few fork fulls of baked potato...and that was it. The screaming and crying got completely out of control from Kenny and Gina. I ended up just taking Kenny up to bed and laying down with him...followed by Gina, who, the minute she hit the pillow inside her crib, was out like a light!
It was an incredibly tense and hectic day with Kenny. He cant express himself so when he is not feeling good, or frustrated about something, he just loses it. Completely. And that is what he did today. I am sure he is going to be up many times tonight because of being over I am typing this, he woke up screaming and moving all around the bed like he was in pain.
What an end to a crazy day. Glad its over. The countdown is on for Kenny's surgery. I am so nervous and scared. Thursday is the day.
Thank you God for giving me such amazing kids. May the be blessed with strength, courage, understanding, compassion, drive, and faith. May they know right from wrong, and may they never feel lost or unsure. From almost 13 right down to my 2 year old...they are our pride and joy. Our hopes and dreams. I wish them the best that life has to offer and hope they succeed with much love and encouragement from us and from our families and friends. See, its times like this, when a sick little boy named Kenny is snuggled up next to me. I lb, 7 oz....and he is here. He is here for a reason...just like all my other kids are. Tony could have been born at just 29 weeks, Taylor and Morgan...they weren't breathing when born, Sydnie AND Kayleigh both had true knots in their umbilical cords when they were delivered and Gina...well, she could easily have been miscarried...yet, they are here and they are ours. God IS great!!!
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, my precious gifts from God.

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