Saturday, May 29, 2010

Goodbye school, Hello summer!

Its been forever since Ive posted. Life has been keeping me very busy this last month.
-The garden is in...woo hoo.
-Kenny has been going to OT/PT once a week.
-Its been so warm the kids have been playing it gives me a chance to get some sun and enjoy the beautiful weather...sure beats being confined to the same four walls of the house...blah.
-We have been fighting a horrible ant problem in the house (just like every year).
-And because of the heavy storms that we have been having, our one side off our house (the side with the wall that out. It is really starting to pull the steps and wall away even more! Its really looking bad and we don't know what we are going to do with it (come on EMHE teehee)
-I am so happy that in this last month, no one (knockonwood) has been/gotten sick.
-Kenny has been trying to eat a little more variety of foods lately...spaghetti o's, small pieces of bread, pudding, and finely shredded cheese. Now the spaghetti o's he has had a hard time keeping them in...he threw them up not sure what that's all about...but the pudding and cheese have been a good choice that he seems to enjoy.

I really think the fresh air and sunshine are very good for him...actually good for everyone. This weather just makes me feel refreshed and honestly feel good about life. Sure, we have our share of problems...but being outside with the kids...playing in the sprinkler, the baby pool, shooting hoops in Jerry's driveway (our neighbor that passed away), working in the garden or just is so refreshing.

Yesterday was the last day of school for my four older kids. The last few days of school always brings a tear to my eyes. We started off with Lunch with a loved one on Thursday. This is where we go to the school with a lunch of our choice (which is usually McDonald's or Burger King) and just spend lunch with our child...or in our case...4 kids. Of course, we bring all the kids and have a blast! After we eat, we go outside and the kids just play with their friends and I take tons of pictures. I just cant believe that my oldest child will now be going into 7th about "where has the time gone". Wasn't I teaching him how to walk and talk? Wasn't it just yesterday that I was crying my eyes out because my baby was starting Kindergarten? Where has the time gone?

I have made it a point to try to enjoy every moment of my kids lives. Yes, this includes all the fighting that goes on between them (lol). I am going to start listening to them more. I am going to try to do more things with them. I am going to enjoy the greatest gift God has given Tony and I....our big family. I am going to laugh at the spills and messes that are made. I am not going to freak out about the house not being perfect...because it wont be...not with 7 kids, not with the fact that it is just old. I am going to enjoy the little things in life...the small miracles that is given to us daily...we are here...alive. I have great friends and family. We have our health...ok, so Kenny is not so healthy but he is here and he is happy....that is all that matters. I will enjoy the time when he is NOT in the hospital. I am just going to take life a little slower.

With it being the end of the school year, many families that we have befriended at the school are moving on, so it was another year of goodbyes. There was a prayer service that ended the school year...where the teachers along with the principal and the pastor all bless the students...something that I look forward to every year and is very special and meaningful to all everyone.

My kids did very well this year. I am just very proud of them. With everything that they have been through this year with Kenny in and out of the hospital pretty much from fall through spring, our neighbor passing away, and with me getting sick, they all did awesome. So as a special treat to them, I decided to treat them to lunch at Eat N Park with my friends and their kids. It was a riot! 14 kids and 3 adults in a restaurant...thank goodness they put us in the very back. But honestly, they were pretty good!

So another school year has come and gone...and yes, we all survived. Here's to the summer and what it will it something small or big...I welcome you and look forward to my favorite time of year!

Friday, May 14, 2010

God is good...

Its been pretty quiet here at the Tomecko one sick (watch I just cursed it).We celebrated Kenny's (and Nicks) birthday with all the family. We had a really good time. The best part of the party was when we were singing "Happy Birthday" and Kenny, just out of the blue, looked up at the sky...almost as if he was looking at Nick. When we were singing, we sang to Kenny AND I am sure that he was right by Kenny the whole time (at least I can only pray). He got a lot of summer clothes and developmental toys...which he desperately needed...not to mention cool shades and a couple of bouncy balls. LOL!
Kenny did "graduate" from the Help Me Grow Program. So we had to say goodbye to all the people that have been there with us through the first 3 years of Kenny's life. Yes, it was sad...I admit, I cried like a baby saying goodbye to everyone. I am though, pretty excited (and scared at the same time) about what the future has in store for Kenny and us. He is all signed up for preschool. His preschool will be working with him in all aspects of his disabilities...that is what I am very excited about. I am still trying to find out how to go about getting Respite care for him. We have started up on his PT/OT at the school for him....He really likes it! I cant wait for him to really get involved. really HAS been pretty uneventful...LOL...lets see, Tony (husband) has been bombarded with work which is wonderful...I mean, he is working nonstop usually til 4-5 in the morning, but we are thankful that the jobs are coming in again. The two biggest jobs were Cystic Fibrosis walks and an American Cancer Society street banner that is 45' across both sides.

And while he's working making signs, I get to deal with 2 toddlers that love to get into mischief! Gina is a handful lately! Note to anyone that is thinking of getting a freezer at the bottom refrigerator...DONT! Gina is in there ALL THE TIME...nothing works with keeping her out of it! The minute I sit down...bam..I hear her in the kitchen and its up and about again! LOL who needs a workout at the local gym, I have 2 very active toddlers!

I also want to ask you all to please stop and take a few minutes out of your day to just reflect on what you have. I mean, yeah, we all have our bad days but thank God (or whoever you worship) for all that you DO have. I know I sit and complain about how small my house is, how much Kenny has to go through and this and that...but, I AM so grateful and thankful to God that I have a wonderful husband and that we love each very much. I am grateful for my children because they are all perfect, no matter what. Yes, I could get so ticked off at them for not listening, cleaning or fighting with each other, but they are really good kids...they have great souls ;). I am also very blessed to have a great family (sisters, parents, in-laws, nieces/nephews, etc.) and friends. Helped us through many troubled times.

I am thankful that God has blessed us with so many...I mean, wow...8 children...and we are able to provide, love and take care of them all....just in a cramped little house. Which brings me to my next blessing, our home. Yes its small, falling apart(literally) around us, but least we have a place to call home.

I know, at times have lost faith and hope, but then God surprises me and shows me that things will be alright. I have learned from a few friends whom I have never met, but feel a very strong friendship bond with these ladies...they have shown me that no matter what, life goes on and faith above fear! My one friend has fought cancer and is now dealing with the fact that her husband is losing his hard fight with cancer as well. They have never given up or lost faith. They are taking it day by day with dignity, courage and faith. Her blog is Making the Lemonade of Life. Her, her husband and her children could use all the prayers, good will, and positive thoughts that you all could give them!

The other one of my friends, her son is battling Mitochondrial disease. She has a Caringbridge site for her son in which you can read her sons fight... HERE. He is the same age as Kenny and has been in the hospital probably more than at home. Her and her husband have another child as well...needless to say, it has been such a tough long road with their little guy...and the future is so up in the air with him...they could really use your prayers as well. No matter what these strong and amazing women have been through, are going through and will be facing in their futures...they always have such kind words and big hearts for others...not to mention their faith is overflowing...I am at awe when I think of these friends of mine.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Nicks Angelversary

It seems like that day 3 years ago went on forever. Seeing him in the NICU and telling the nurses to keep an eye on him because I didn't like the way he looked. Walking back to my room and then the nurse came in and told me that there was a problem with him. She already called Tony to come down to the hospital. I cried so hard. Rushing back into the NICU seeing the doctors and nurses working on him. Ordering blood transfusion after blood transfusion. Sitting in chairs 20 ft away, unable to do anything but watch and pray. I wanted to throw up, cry, run out of there...anything to not face what was happening. the nurses handing me tissues and water. Just sitting there with Tony. It was three hours...three hours, maybe even longer. I knew in my heart that God wanted him to come home. I just knew it. But I just couldn't believe that my worst nightmare was happening. HOW could it be happening? When the doctors told us that there was nothing more they could do, we cried and cried. He was still alive, do something...anything...dont let my baby die!!!!
They handed him to me to hold for the first time. I held him. I was finally holding my baby. He was so little, so light, like holding a doll. But he was real. He was alive right now. He was our baby. Our baby that was leaving us. I looked and studied his face so I wouldn't forget any detail about our little Nick. The way he smelled, the cute little chin that looked just like Kennys, the perfect blond hair...I kissed him and kissed him. He was still alive....cant someone do something...anything. Don't let him die. I held his face against my face telling him it was alright. Uncle John was waiting for you with open arms. He needed a nephew, a baby up there to hold since he's missed out on all his kids growing up and all his nieces and nephews...and his own grandchildren. Nick was going to finally meet Uncle John. I told him that it was alright...mommy and daddy would be alright. Watch over us, your brothers and sisters, your twin. How could this be happening. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. I wanted your brother and sisters to meet you, they were so excited. They never got the chance to see you.
I didn't even get the chance to hold my twins together, to get a picture of my twins together...the nurses then asked if I wanted pictures of my twins together...yes...God yes...but not like this. I wanted to be holding both babies, pink and fat, bundled up with little hats on their heads...crying and wanting to eat. I wanted pictures of them together playing, sleeping, the first day of school together...all the firsts...together. Not like this. It wasn't fair. My cheeks were red, from so much tears and wiping...I just wanted this day to have not happened...but it did. I miss you Nick with all my heart and soul. When you died, a part of me went with you. I wanted you to be part of our big, crazy family. You made me realize that life is a very special gift. I just wish that we had more time to spend together...but isn't that always the case. I at least got to tell you that I loved you very very much and I know you put up a fight to live...but now you are watching over your twin and helping him get through each day. Its hard, its very, very hard. A parent should never have to bury a child. I miss you my angel...I miss you.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Happy Birthday to my twin boys...

To my Twin Boys...
(reposed from last birthday...cause...well...I'm just not feeling good and I loved this poem that I wrote!)
You both were dreams and visions of love
Inside me, I had you both, and thanked God above.
I prayed and prayed that you'd both be healthy
I'd give up everything including being wealthy.
Nick on my left and Kenny on my right
It's a feeling of having twins that was so in sight.
A dream that came true, but with different results
I cant help but feel that it was somehow my fault.
A mom is supposed to keep their children safe and warm
I couldn't do that, the day you both were born.
I cried the night I saw both of you, you looked so unreal
that my Nick and my Kenny I could no longer feel.
Nick you put up a fight to stay here with us,
but God wanted you close and you didn't put up a fuss.
We held you close the day you went away
I love you, I love you, is all I could say.
I told you to look for your Uncle John in Heaven
I bet he wouldn't believe that we actually had seven!
Kenny would miss you with all of his might
but we know that you are with him every day and night.
It would have been fun to celebrate with both on your day
the birthday of my boys, my twins I should say.
Kenny is our miracle, he is our little guy,
I wouldn't trade him for anything, I would much rather die.
God chose this life for us and for him,
We just have to have faith, that his light will not dim.
The problems and issues with you, that we see
will make us better people, I think that's the key,
So as we celebrate your birthday, yes I am happy but sad,
I want you both to know that I am trying so so bad!
See, I prayed for my twins that they would make it through the days
and now I see that they have, just in very different ways.
I am a mommy to twins, one in Heaven and one on Earth
How lucky am I to have actually giving my twins birth!
Our family has an angel and his brother he watches over,
It's better than finding a lucky four leafed clover!
Kenny, I look up to you, you are such a strong little guy
You lost your other half and you couldn't even say goodbye.
As We celebrate your birthday(s), I want you to know,
I will be with you and love you and help you to grow.
We will make it, I promise, all of us together
That's why God gave you both to our hearts, forever!
It wont be easy, but we all will help you through
With hospitals, therapy's and anything new.
My love for you started when God gave you to me
And it will never end, not from now till eternity
So Happy Birthday to my twins, Mommy loves you more than ever
I promise to love you, think of you, be here for you now and forever!
Happy Birthday Kenny and Nick...Mommy and Daddy and your brother and sisters loves you both so very much.
Kenny, I will help you become the strong, loving and successful person that you are meant to be. You are an amazing little boy who puts a smile on my face every day. No matter what happens, we will be here for you and help you through any obstacles that you may face in life. You are my miracle and would do anything for you and your sisters and brother. And for you Nick, my angel, I pray that you are with Uncle John and Great Grandparents and others that have been part of our lives. Until we meet again my love, Keep the lights going on and off coming! I hope Uncle John is taking care of you! I miss you so heart is broken because your not here. Your Daddy, sisters and brothers keep me going and my faith that you are with Uncle John and Grandmas and Grandpas help me make it though the days!
I am so happy that God gave me my children.
To have Kenny and Nick on May 2 is something very special (yet sad).
I don't usually go all "number-ie" but these numbers are very ironic...almost it was meant to be....
We had 5 children = May (5)
Then we had our twins = the 2nd day of May (2)
total kids 7 = the year...2007
Here's another one...No one can say that Gina wasn't supposed to be here....We had 7 children = July (7)
We had 7 children + added one (Gina) = the seventheenth day (17) (one & seven)
So total kids 8 = the year 2008
Oh yeah...God does beautiful things!