Wednesday, December 21, 2011


‎6:55... I'm done going to bed an wishing this, this holiday, the whole freaking year would end rather quickly. Screw making cookies. Sucks because i loved Christmas time and now too down to even care.
Always stuck at home, only to go to dr. Appts, therapies...etc. I know this is the life god chose for me...but kinda blows! I have PTSD from the death of my child and the ups and downs of Kenny's health struggles....I don't get to hang out with friends...ever, and I really want my life know, making T-shirts for micro preemies, making headpieces/jewelry, drawing...I lost it all. Has nothing to do with how many kids we's about being a caregiver to a sick child with so many different needs...from Autism to feeding issues to giving him his Meds.. My life right now is his life. I love him and all my children with all my heart and soul....and would and have given up everything for them...but I'm just bummed. I wish I had my twins here. I honestly miss my nick so much. It wasn't fair that god called him back so soon. I wanted him and never had the chance to be his mom! This is the first year that I didn't put up my angel tree...not that I didn't want too...but as I was getting all the ornaments from the container...all the angels were broken. So was my heart.
I know this post is a Debbie downer, but I have always written what I feel.

Hen a huge shout out (NOT) to Toys For Tots. just have to say...the system sucks!!! There are tons of people abusing it when there are true people in need!
Something is just not right when people standing in line to get a few toys for kids, who are supposedly too poor to buy their own, pull out iPhone, etc. The conversations that were heard were about how this one woman was getting gifts for her 10 grandchildren (whom doesn't even live with her), another guy was on his phone getting SSN from whoever and writing them he was telling the person on the other end that he was going to get these toys so he could sell them!!!! This has got to change! Oh...and these people were every year regulars! They know exactly what to do...even brought big garbage bags to put the toys in!!!! shouldn't there be a limit? Shouldn't they look at the documents of income, birth certs, proof of residence...etc like they ask you to bring? I don't think I can ever get myself to donate to anything like this ever! It has really ruined my outlook on things! I tried calling the head of the organization AND the news stations but no one cares. It's another reason why I have lost my holiday cheer!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Gingerbread house building 101

Kenny's class had their annual Gingerbread House Party where the kids and their parents make gingerbread houses together. It was a great opportunity to get the parents and kids together for the holidays and also great to show us the skills they have learned...opening wrappers, frosting and pressing...what a genius his teacher is! Thank you Mrs. Schneider for another wonderful class/family day! We missed it last year because Kenny was in the hospital, so this year was even more special!

Daddy putting Kenny's hearing aids in... Gina showing Kenny's teacher that she is soooo ready for preschool...maybe even kindergarten with her frosting spreading skills...
The houses are finally taking shape! Kenny was a little preoccupied by everything other than the gingerbread house haha....

Time to put the candy and decorations on the houses!

Kenny really liked the taste of the mean...pretzels...

Showing off the finished houses! True masterpieces!

Mommy's and Gina's house...

Daddy's and Kenny's house...
They turned out rather cute for first timers on gingerbread house building.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Photo Card

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Tuesday, December 6, 2011

An angelversary poem

It's been so long since we saw you last...
It makes it so hard to think back to the past.

The family is not the same since you went away
We were lost, sad and helpless on that angel day.

Even after this length of time has gone by...
It still brings me to tears and I start to cry.

Oh what would you look like, where would you be...
If you were still here for all of us to see.

I think of you always, and I hope that you know...
Life here without you for surely can blow.

I know your an angel with halo and wings...
With family and friends, and know many things.

There's one thing that I want you to know today..
I will alway love you, miss you and wish you could have stayed.

Happy angelversary to my brother John.