Our March Of Dimes day

Well today was very therapeutic for me. I finally got out of the house a little bit and did something for a cause. I was at a booth for the March Of Dimes passing out info. I loved it. I made friends, got to great people...it just was very nice. So nice, that I really want to get involved in all of the local fundraising and the events that take place. It is a cause that I really believe in...every baby should be born healthy...and on time! From a mom who had all her babies early...I would have loved to have known the feeling of a healthy pregnancy and baby. I know that because of my bicornuate uterus that having a full term pregnancy is almost not thought of, but for those women who have their babies early for no reason or because they don't have insurance or the money for prenatal care along with vitamins...just shouldn't be. It's amazing how as I was sitting at the booth, women would just walk by....actually try to avoid the table, like I was going to be one of those surveyors at the mall or something...it was pretty funny. If those women only knew the struggle that a mother and father of a premature baby has to deal with...the NICU, the hospital visits, the doctor appts...if they only knew that the March Of Dimes gives so much to help these babies and their parents...wow.This is Kenny flirting with everyone that walked by...oh yeah..he was our little spokesperson for the day! My husband also confirmed that he is a "chick magnet". Tony was such a great dad today. He ended up walking the mall about 10 times with most or all of the kids. LOL He had to of gotten the looks...a guy, no wife around, and 7 kids...oh yeah...the women walking the mall were probably thinking that he is the worlds greatest dad and hubby....which he is...and the guys in the mall were probably thinking that he is screwed because if there was no wife around...that means he was probably divorced...and divorced with Sunday visitations with 7 kids = a whole lot of child support! LMBO!!! But anyways...the kids were, for the most part, really good. They got to go to a mall...which they have not done in about 2 years, help me out....yes, they passed out bags and information packets, and it was just an overall nice day.... except for the snow storm that dumped 4 more inches! Blah!


This is Little Tony, Kenny and myself...



When I did get the chance to look around at the bridal booths that were set up, I fell in love with this local bakery... these cakes were so beautiful..made me want to get married all over again! These were my favorites!!!
So now that I am inspired to make a difference in prematurity... Our whole family will be walking the March of Dimes, March for Babies walk April 26. We will be walking because ALL of my children were premature...and that's a lot of prematurity in one family! I am striving to reach our goal of $500 raised, so if anyone would like to make a donation for a great cause, feel free to help.

I found a few pictures....

The picture above is a month after he was born, so a whole month of growing was involved here!!! His fingers were much smaller than a macaroni noodle!!!

I found a few pictures of Kenny when he was in the NICU...this is a perfect one to show you the size he was...I could pretty much hold him in my hand...its so amazing that such perfect tiny little beings can actually survive....what a miracle that I have...that I stare at every day! We had PT/OT today and she and myself both noticed Kenny's left foot rolling inwards. I wasn't sure if that was because he was just starting to stand against stuff or what, so I asked her what she made of it. She wants us to keep an eye on it because it might be is "low tone" in his lower half that is causing it....worst case scenario would be a brace...So when I go to the doctors with Kenny, I'll ask them to take a look at it. I am hoping that it doesn't cause him any discomfort or pain...I just want him to be alright. On another note...I also found, on my computer, some small videos that I took of him in the NICU when he was first trying to open his eyes! I am so excited that I got that on tape! LOL...you know your a micro preemie mommy when you can honestly say that you saw your baby with his eyes fused together and you also saw them open for the first time! LOL!

Oh...and one more thing...my little guy ate 2...that's right...2 french fries! YEAY FOR KENNY!!!

I took this picture yesterday (Monday), because he just looked so...well...perfect! He was so comfortable taking his nap...I just love my guy!

I have to show you our snow. It has been non stop snowing here in Northeastern Ohio...and let me tell you...it is getting old...really fast! This is our deck looking into the backyard...this was taken this morning. I'd say we got about 3 more inches on top of that! YUCK!Its not only the snow...its the cold. I am such a freeze baby that going skiing would be like a death sentence to me. LOL Nope, winter and I don't mix! And just to think...only 2-3 more months of it. Oh yeah. I'm looking forward to it, aren't you! LOL!

Life....why does it have to be so hard

I am trying to understand why life...my life...the one that is supposed to be fun, adventurous and exciting, turning into more of a life of sadness, fear and unknowing. After the first one, It just felt natural. I love being a mommy...what I didn't sign up for was the fact that I had 8 children, 1 child die, 2 miscarriages, a child that struggles every day, and the question of why. Why did so much heartache have to happen to Me (and Tony), why does my husband have to work so hard for 10 years making his sign business sucessful, and it only takes 2 months for everything to almost fall apart. No warning, no nothing...You give and give, and think that because you give and give, things will be good...well that is what is supposed to happen...right? For people to look down on us for having so many kids. It's not because we had so many kids that things are bad! We have a lot of love to give our little ones. I am holding onto hope that this is a minor setback. Heck, everyone has bad times...ours is just lasting a good 2 years! ANYTIME NOW...the cloud will lift and things will pick up.. Again, I do not regret having my children, I love them with all my heart. I wouldn't trade them in for anything! I just wish I had more to give them. I wish that they had their own stuff, their own personal space. I wish that we didn't have to protect Kenny from getting sick, that we could go out as a family, that we could go on a vacation. My kids would love to go on a family vacation...anywhere, but right now, we cant. I'd love to have sleepovers, after school play dates, dance and music lessons,..but...nope. So, for that, I feel sorry and AM sorry to my kids. I would love to snuggle up at night with my hubby without 2 kids in between us in our bed...and for that I am sorry. I would love to get my husband an Anniversary present...or just an Anniversary dinner, but no, not this year. This year is not starting off very well.

It seems like all my posts are more and more depressing...well, it not intentional...it is just how things are going at the moment, I am scared about how Kenny will turn out...well all my kids for that matter, but Kenny especially. There is no way a baby born at 23 weeks, a baby who missed most of the 2nd and all of the 3rd trimester can be OK. I see what he is doing and what he is going through, daily...I am praying to God that life is good to him and that he will be OK, have happiness, friendships and be successful in whatever he does. Again, I want this for all my kids, but because Kenny has some major issues, I just hope life is gentle on him. Not to mention the everyday junk... the washer broke, my cell phone broke, my computer broke, the coffee maker broke...I thought things were supposed to happen in groups of 3...ummmm...so does that mean I have to wait for 2 more things to break?...oh wait...LOL...only one more...I am already broke! LOL! So I'll end it on this...

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen.

Update to laundry...

I just wanted to post some pictures so you all dont think we live like hoarders! LOL

In the last post, you saw my laundry and the stuff that we were giving to Goodwill....well...Tony took the stuff yesterday and since the weather took a nose dive to -9 below, the kids have no school...so we all pitched in and put the laundry away! woo hoo!!!

Kenny's appt was rescheduled because I just couldnt see taking him out in this weather...so we get to wait till next Thursday for the Preemie Clinic. So...without further ado...pics of the basement...minus laundry and junk!

Just a small update

Wow...where to start... First off, I want to apologize about not posting more. My laptops motherboard cracked in half...don't ask how...LOL...so I am using my husbands computer until mine is fixed. We have been bombarded with snow since Saturday and it's still coming down! I cant wait till spring...but then....my backyard gets flooded and it's not a very pretty picture.

I want to thank everyone for their kind words and support for our quest to get on Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I am slowly making a video of each room of the house and ourselves. If there is ANYONE who wants to say a kind word on video for us...please e-mail us at mtomecko@yahoo.com . We need people in our community who knows us to help us out in that way. I want to get the application and video mailed to them soon. I am so grateful to you all...I even see that we have our Mayor's support...Thanks Dean!

I have been very busy cleaning house to "declutter"... I cant get over all the stuff we can accumulate....crazy!!! I am also trying to figure bedrooms out. Right now we have 2 sets of bunks in 1 room, a single bed and a crib in another 8x9 room, and our bedroom has our bed and a crib. I think we have decided to get a sofa bed for the living room for us to sleep on and just have all the kids in the upstairs rooms (come on home makeover ;) !

I also want to say that my video that I worked so hard on of my twin pregnancy throughout the whole Nicks death/Kenny's NICU stay was blocked from google video and You Tube because of the songs that were on there...copyright problems...oops. I don't understand...other people have their videos of their preemies and angels on there with beautiful songs from popular singers and THEY don't get banned...It just makes me sad that I cant show what I worked hard on and show off my beautiful babies and their struggles, but I also understand the copyright infringements. I am just sad about this...that's all.

So onto Kenny and the rest of the kids...

My Kenny has made great strides! He is now pulling up to standing on everything. He is crawling using his hands AND is now climbing the stairs...which we are blocking off. He has also learned to throw temper tantrums...and boy does he throw some doosies!! He has also started to eat cheerios and puffs!!! We are so happy about this...I even caught it on a picture...
PLEASE DONT PAY ATTENTION TO THE SLEEPER HE IS IN....ALL HIS WERE DIRTY! LOL!!!

Still cant keep those darn hearing aids in either. I don't know what I am going to do! It's driving me nuts~!

On another note....Tony and I are very concerned with his lack of weight gain...he is stuck at 19 lbs....he has his preemie clinic on Thursday, so we will be asking about that. I just don't feel that the Pediasure is doing any good for him, except add too much sugar to his diet. We've been dealing with his fast breathing as well... I am hoping that he is not on his way to getting sick again...but it would just be apprapoe I guess.

The funny thing is, his baby sister Gina weighs almost as much as him...she is now 15 lbs at 6 months old...the biggest baby I've had to date...notice the head size difference... I am hoping that we can figure out why he isn't gaining...I am wondering if it is from all the breathing treatments everyday...I heard that they can stunt growth. If he isn't growing, his lungs don't heal, and if his lungs don't heal, he will have to continue the treatments...seems like a no win situation.

The other kids are doing great. Tony is in basketball...their team really hasn't won a game yet, but to me, its all about having fun...and they do. Taylor and Morgan got Generation Girl dolls for Christmas...so they've been busy with those...and Sydnie...my little Kindergarten Sydnie got her artwork in an art show....She was so excited and I, being a proud mommy was so happy to see her happy! Here she is with her entry...LOVE IT!!!!
and here is another picture that she drew at home...just doodling...I must say, she is following the Kowalczyk/Tomecko artist combo! She's only 5!!!!I am so happy that all my kids have inherited the art gene from both Tony's side and mine!
Well that's about all for now...until I get back from Kenny's appt. on Thursday.
Please keep up with the petition...and pass the info along to others.
Thanks so much. Tony, the kids and I are very grateful to you all that have signed!

OK...I am gonna be brave and post a couple of pictures of my laundry and of the wall of "stuff" I'm giving to goodwill....
Here is my basement with my laundry....
And here is the stuff I'm giving to goodwill...minus the drum bass...which is my son's (who loves to play the drums thanks to my neighbor who gave him a double bass drum...I think that is what they call it)... And that is only most of the clothing...I still have all the toys that I think I am gonna be donating...some to the hospital's PICU and some to the woman and children's shelter...

Ah a new year!

As I finally get a chance to sit here and type what is on my mind and what I've been doing theses last couple of weeks, I want to take a minute to thank you all for stopping by my site and reading. Reading about my family, my son who is a little miracle, and about what life has to offer for my family. Thank you for taking time to care about what is happening in my little corner of the world.
These last few weeks have been a whirl wind of craziness. Before Christmas, our house was plagued by sickness...on Christmas...still plagued and as New Year's Eve came and went...so did more sickness. It just seemed that we couldn't get this stupid virus out of our house...I even went to the extreme of opening a couple of windows to try to freeze the germs away! LOL!
I spent all of New Year's Day wiping down everything with Clorox Disinfecting Wipes...at least everything smelled clean and germ free.
Since they are back in school starting tomorrow, I give it about a week until the kids bring home another sickness...and the cycle continues!
The tree is down, the decorations put away and it is back to the normal, everyday life that was...before all hectic "must haves" and "have to dos". We rang in the New year with just our little family (I use the word little, lightly) LOL. We had the typical...lunch meat tray, pickle and olive tray... the black olives are a huge hit with the kids. We finished it up with the family classic...my Daddy's New Year Punch. I remember every New Year's Eve, we'd have a big family party...just like the kind that I am trying to recreate, but bigger with more relatives, my dad would make this punch...consisting of Hawaiian Punch, Ginger Ale, vanilla ice cream and fruit cocktail! I have happily carried on the tradition with my kids now asking when I will be making the punch! I LOVE IT! We had the confetti poppers and the noise makers. Trying to keep 5 kids quiet because the 2 babies were sleeping was almost impossible, but somehow we managed and they didn't wake. The kids stayed up late with Tony while I went to bed around 12:30...I was still sick so sleep is the only thing I really wanted this new year! LOL!
Kenny rang in the new year by showing us that he can climb...yep...he now climbs up the steps. He is a very active little boy. He loves crawling! Actually, he has mastered it! Now that the holidays are over, we are going to start back up with his PT/OT and hearing and speech therapy. I cant wait! He still has some tightness in his hands and his legs are still a little stiff, but he is also kneeling and pulling up to a standing position which is so exciting to see! He hasn't really learned any new signs, so we are going to have to work on that too (along with trying to keep those dang hearing aids in).
Gina is now loving the idea of "tummy time". I really think she may be crawling within the next month! She is such a good baby. She is so...normal. Not that Kenny isn't, it's just that she is doing things that babies her age are doing while Kenny is doing things that a 8-9 month old would be doing. *still feeling a little guilty about the whole...having them early thing.*
Which brings me to my next topic...
I am sure you have all heard by now that John Travolta's son passed away. Anyone that grew up with me knows that I was totally infatuated with him since I was about 6-7 years old. I made a Grease scrapbook when it was out in the theatres...I STILL have it! Yep! I loved Welcome Back Kotter, had a couple of his albums (yes, he had a few), and just was head over heals for him. To hear that he has lost his son, just made me feel sorry for him and his wife. I know first had what they are going through...I didn't have Nick for 16 years, but I did have him, and a loss of a child is still a loss of a child, no matter what way you look at it. I don't care if some people think that because Nick was only 2 days old AND was a micro preemie, that Tony and I should get over it faster... Ah...NO. He was NOT a fetus, he was a living, breathing baby whom we had hopes and dreams for...not to mention...more love than you could even imagine.
To hear these news reports reporting on how John and his wife are doing, feeling....recounting the last moments...it's just sad. Brings back a lot of unsettling, sad feelings. I can tell you exactly what they were feeling...they were probably praying that this was all a bad dream. Begging with him to wake up, pleading with him, pleading with anyone to help wake him up and to not let him die. There is an emptiness that comes with losing a child. You want to throw up, cry, you cant breath, then when you think that you cant cry anymore, you do. Anything can and will make you feel the sadness of losing your child. Sometimes it will be OK to talk about it, while other times...it feels like the day it happened...the rawness of the whole thing. You want to keep as many memories alive as you possibly can, but sometimes it hurts to bad and you want to forget...but then you feel bad for that and, well...it's just sad. I hope that the media will let this family mourn in private...for as long as they need, because it is such a privately sad time in their lives. A mother and father have lost the most precious gift that God has given them.
So with that, I have to say that I am keeping the Travolta family, and any other family who have recently lost a child in my prayers and thoughts. These next few days, weeks, months and years are going to be sheer he**. No parent should have to bury their child, no matter what age.

Please read and sign the petition...PLEASE!!!

Hi everyone, I just want to wish everyone a very Happy New Year!!! If you haven't noticed, I have a petition box on my blog. My family is trying to get enough signatures to print out and sent to the producers of Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I know it is a long shot, but we already filled out the application...our next big thing to do is make a video...any ideas would be great. We really, really need this. I know that I got a comment stating that I should say what we have or are doing for our community because there is nothing on it...well, we have done so much...we donate clothes, food and toys (that haven't been beat up by the kids) to the areas all around us. My husband has done many things for the schools, churches, the Cystic Fibrosis foundation, American Heart Association, and cities around here...signs from fundraisers to centerpieces and tickets...My husband is the kind of guy that makes friends with everyone. He can go anywhere and strike up a conversation with them. Always looking for the good in all, he never is quick to judge anybody. Not only is he a very hard worker, but he spends time with our kids...takes them here or there...while I stay home with the little ones, or the ones that are sick at the time. He even joined the school PTU...now how many dads can you honestly say you know, that actually ENJOYS doing all the school functions that he can! He always has to make sure that the elderly people around us...well actually...most of our neighbors around us, have their yards raked in the fall and their driveway and walkways shoveled in the winter. He makes sure that we give food to the needy, even though sometimes we ARE the needy. We may not have a "cause" to fight in the community, or a state funded grant for a "cause", but we help and care for those around us with what we have to offer.
So if you all would be so kind to pass this petition on to everyone you know and have them sign it, I would be forever grateful to you.
A great big THANK YOU to all of you that have already signed! Thank you all for the nice notes you left with your signature! Love you all!

Now I would like to take this time to publicly thank my family for everything that have done for us. My husbands business has slowed WAY down because of 1)Kenny being in and out of the hospital and 2)the economy...no one has the money for signs and graphics...advertising is the first to be cut from a budget. So this past month has been one that we would much rather not talk about. We have been struggling... and my family helped us out with a Christmas dinner and presents for the kids...Thank you all very, very much! Also, Tony's brother gave him a van, since his died. This is such a bad time for us...I've been so down about it. So sorry if I've been distant lately...it's been a very bad couple of years...Nicks death, Kenny with all his problems, financial, and a few other things...mix it all together, and you get a very stressful emotional mess.
I am so thankful to God that our marriage is a strong one, because through everything, we have each other...like our marriage vows, for richer or poorer, through sickness and health...yep...been there...done that...in 13 short years of marriage! I would not wish any of this...on anybody...and for everyone that has told us that we shouldn't of had so many kids...we wouldn't trade a hug or a smile from any one of our kids!!!! They ARE what life is about. We are proud of all of our kids and will make the best out of what God has given us (and has taken away) I can only hope that when they are grown, they rally around one another like our family has done for us...THANK YOU!
Oh, I am also still getting angel ornaments from people...I love them, thank you for sending us a little happiness.

I can hear at last!

Today is the start of a new Kenny! He has gotten his hearing aids! It is going to be a slow "getting used to them" process because, all he wants to do now is rip those suckers right out of his ears! Soooo....what we are doing is one ear at a time. He seems fine with only one in...doesn't even know it is in, so we will be doing this until he starts to realize that they help him hear and are not just a toy to throw or bite! LOL! For the times that he has had one in his ear, he seems so much more aware of everything. It's like watching a small miracle unfold with him! I cant wait till he can keep them in both ears and starts to really take off, developmentally! He will definitely need them for life, but hey, a small price to pay to hear!

Thank you all for the prayers for Johnnie, they seem to be working. He should be getting out of the hospital tonight...hopefully. He has had a few rounds of antibiotics and he pretty much has to be away from all germs. He has some sort of infection of the bone marrow...or something like that. When I find out more, I will update. :)

We had our "BIG" snow storm last night through today...ummm...started off as snow, turned to rain...If anything, there was lots of slush...I was hoping that the last day of school would not get cancelled because of the ice that we were supposed to get...thank God it was just slush! I'll tell ya what though, the trees looked so pretty with the little ice that did form on the branches...

So now all the kids are off school for 2 whole weeks....I need ideas that will keep them busy...I actually need ideas that will keep me sane!!!

Things I love...

I figured that I have been feeling very down lately, with everything going on in my life, that I would list what I love....so...here goes...
My family
My husband when he hugs me
When my kids smile and are truly happy
Watching Kenny sleep...he sleeps on his tummy...very, very cute!
Trying to change Gina's shirts...she is very ticklish under her arms, and she cracks up every time I try to take something off or put something on her!
Christmas music

My sisters because we all have this bond that is so very special to me...I love you all

My parents because even though they are a million miles away, I can still call them and they can make me feel better...love you guys!

My friends...even though I am not around much or call them...I love them (Denise...yes you!)Snow...when I don't have to go outside

4:00 am-7:00 am...because it is MY time...no kids (after I get one of the babies to sleep)
My church...they have helped us very much these past 2 years.
My kitchen...I still love it after 3 years after I redesigned it...It's my favorite part of my old, small house.
My Angel ornaments
My Foxes that live in my back yard...its so fun watching them play back there.
My garden in the summer
The first warm Spring day
Being able to fit into my clothes that I wore when I was 20...even after 9 pregnancies!
Making jewelry and headpieces....I feel so accomplished when I finish a piece!
Oh...Painting my Christmas village...you know, those unfinished plaster pieces...well, I have a whole village that I painted...LOVE IT!
Harry Connick Jr, his voice AND his looks...(heehee...had to throw him in, sorry Tony, you know I love you more! LOL)
The smell of lilacs
The look of Hydrangeas and roses
New Years Eve...we always have a little party with the kids...just like when I was little! Which brings me to the next one...
Traditions!
My Grandma Chiaverini's Squid in her spaghetti sauce...even though I haven't had it for years!
Artichokes...yummy!
A big feather pillow and warm, soft blanket!
New make-up
and I'll end the list with Obsession perfume...Reminds me of when I first met Tony!

Happy Anniversary!

Today is our 13th wedding anniversary (but have been together for 19).
What 13 years does to a person and what happens in those 13 years!
In 13 years we:

bought a house
my husband started his own sign business
had 8 living children
had 2 miscarriages
had 1 child die
bought several cars (from a Toyota MR2, to a 4 door sedan to a minivan and finally a 12 passenger) LMBO!!!
seen several close family members and friends pass away
seen many, many family members and friends have children of their own
been on only a few vacations (but that's OK...were saving up for something big!)
and I became a stay at home mom.

Oh and the firsts...let me tell you...all the firsts that we experienced together:
Death of our child (I pray, no one should ever experience this one)
Our kids birthdays
the first day of school for them
redecorating our house/yard
oh my, I can go on and on...

Births...all preterm...out we were expecting again...and again...and again....etc.. including finding out we were expecting twins...

I remember how stunned we were when the tech told us that there were 2 in there!

Not many people approved of us having so many children, but we chose what God has blessed us with, not by what people have scolded us for.

We have been through more than what most couples go through. I am hoping that the worst of it is over though.

So, Tony...Happy Anniversary Honey. I love you more today than I did yesterday, and less than tomorrow! Thank you for weathering the storms that we have been through together...I know things have not come very easy for us, but I love you none-the-less.

Here's to the next 13!

The Signing Snowman

Yes, today was an eye opener for our family. We went to an event that the Regional Infant Hearing Program held. It was for the kids in their program and their families. They read 2 books while the snowman signed...it was so nice. My kids really enjoyed meeting new friends...actually, Tony and I did too. My first instinct was to say that MY child was not like this and we really don't belong...but as I sat and watched all these little babies and kids...I realized..."Oh my gosh, we ARE one of these families, my child DOES need hearing aids....he IS one of those kids that cant hear very well". It was kind of hard to swallow, but as the party went on, I started to feel more relaxed to the idea. It is very strange how, when thrown into a situation, what transpires...my children are all learning signs for everyday simple words...I love it. My 3 year old is one of the ones that LOVES to sign...and she shows off how well she can and all the different words.
This is a picture of Kenny signing "more"...

Here is a picture of them making snowmen out of Graham crackers, marshmallows, pretzels and m&m's....the had tons of fun doing this:And this is the kids posing with Frosty the Snowman (who, by the way, was over-heating in the costume).So afterwards, we went to the cemetery to take Nick's snow cross marker and a Christmas tree...My baby needed a tree! I am going to be adding more, but it was just waaaay to cold out! I have a wreath that I am going to be putting on the cross...and I also am going to be getting some poinsettias to put there too. I feel like I should do more, but I am trying to tell myself that Nick isn't there...he is in Heaven...it's mostly for us..the decorations, the notes that I bury to him..its all for us. Speaking of angels....I would like to share with the whole world, my angel Christmas tree. Most of these angels came from people from around the United States that granted my wish for angel ornaments from wishuponahero.com! I just wanted to have something that would remind me that my angels (Nick & my 2 miscarriage babies) were still with our family...in spirit. These wonderful strangers had a heart and sent them to me, so not only will I remember my angels, I will know that there is loving, kind and caring people in this world every Christmas that I put up this tree. If anyone would like to send me one for this tree or even next years, let me know in a comment and I will get back to you. My goal is to have a huge tree with angels from all over the world...and maybe...even...one day in our dream home ...
yes, we are a little obsessed with this house...its beautiful...just right now...a little out of reach (yes ...God, I am still waiting for that black cloud that is over our family right now to lift and You grant us a miracle...any day now).

So...anyhow....I'll end this post with a picture of our tree and the mantle full of stockings...we filled that up fast! LOL

And...yes....we DO have plug in fake logs! LMBO!!!

updates

Oh, It about time that I start posting again.

Lets see, Kenny is feeling MUCH better. He is actually back to his old self again. He is now crawling on his hand rather than his forearms! It is a very big accomplishment for him. Especially since he has not had PT/OT for a while, because of being in the hospital. He also is starting to sign! Yes, that is right! He now does the sign for "more" and "finished". I am so excited about this because before this, he really has not been communicating with us. We are still working on the signs for mom, dad, car (since he loves to look outside at the cars), and milk. This Saturday we are going to a "Signing Snowman" function that the Infant Regional Hearing Loss group is having. This will be our first time at any of their events. Kenny will be getting his hearing aids next Friday (the 19th). I am very nervous about this whole thing, but know that it will be a good thing for him.
Oh, I also have been able to get him to eat again. Its still the stage 2's but, at least he is eating again. I even gave him the liquid part to Campbell's alphabet soup...with some baby cereal to thicken it up...AND HE ATE IT! As you can tell, eating has been an issue for him. So we are slowly making progress!

Gina, his baby sister, is growing like a weed!!! I swear, she is going to surpass him in weight very soon! I don't think I have ever had a baby that likes to eat as much as her...I guess I can contribute that to having her at 36 weeks rather than 23 or even 34 weeks like the rest of my kids! I have to remember that she is developing right on target for her age...Kenny is not. I should be used to the "normal" but I have gotten very used to Kenny and his delays, that anything new that Gina does, I am flipping out that she is so advanced...but she is just right on! LOL. She is grabbing for things, trying to sit (with help of course), and just interacts so nicely...its so bittersweet.

I am still in the realm of wondering why God took Nick. What was/is His plan? Don't get me wrong, I would NEVER give Gina up or wish she wasn't here...She is my little ray of sunshine, But why couldn't God just let me be a mom of my twins. I guess he kind of is letting me, because Kenny and Gina are so close in age...and if you factor in the developmental delays, they are even closer. I am trying to move on and accept the way things are, I really am...I am waiting and hoping for the day that I wake up and accept my life, and what has, is, and will happen.

As for my other children, they are all busy with school. I cant believe that next Friday is the last day of school before Christmas break! I get to have the kids home with me for...two...whole...weeks! ummm. I really need to find things for these kids to do while home...I am up for any suggestions...that doesn't cost money since my husbands business is very slow. I am really hoping this slump ends...because if it doesn't...god knows what could happen. It also doesn't help that we are down to one vehicle, since his work van died. Yep...this year is just sooo good for us (dripping with sarcasm).
One final note to self: When you are diagnosed with dry eyes, no matter what...keep putting the eye gel in at night! Last Friday to Saturday...my cornea tore! I would give birth any day then experience a corneal abrasion! k...that all. ;)

Pneumonia and Kenny

I've been gone for a couple of days because our little Kenny was hospitalized for Pneumonia.
Tony took him into his routine Pulmonologist appt. on Tuesday, the doctor took one look at him and placed him in the hospital with IV antibiotics, fluids, liquid steroids and Albuterol every couple of hours. He spent 2 days there...and it did wonders...for him. He now has diarrhea from the medicine. While in the hospital, he learned the sign for "more". He does it all the time now! Next week, we are going to a "signing snowman" party given by the Hearing loss center. It sounds like fun for the whole family.
Today is the 22nd angelversary for my brother, John. I remember that day like it was yesterday. My parents were taking my twin and I to tour Bowling Green State University...It was such a special day because none of their kids went to college...this was the first time looking at a college for their kids! Anyhow...we got there and a police car stopped our car as we were in a parking lot. The officer told my parents to follow them to the station. There, They had to call home. My sister told them the news that my brother died. He has a heart attack. At age 24! I never saw my parents cry so hard. That whole way home was torture. We all were so sad. My parents' hearts were broken forever. How could this happen? Their only son...a young father of 2 and one on the way...my only brother. Why? I remember them pulling the car over several times just to hold each other and cry. We got to the hospital and were taken in the family room, where everyone was. My parents went to see John in the room that they worked on him. Who would of thought that 21 years later, I would be experiencing the same heartache. I asked my parents when does the missing, the sadness, the emptiness go away...they told me that it doesn't, it just gets easier to live with.
John was a crazy brother...he was so typical of a big brother...always picking on his little sisters. LOL. He worked with at the High school that we attended. Loved by all. One of the last memories I have is of him sitting in the auditorium and listening to our singing group, The Heights Singers, practice for our winter concert. We made it through the concert, but with many tears! So John...I love and miss you dear brother. Your kids are beautiful. I wish you were here so I can make fun of your gray hair...or being a grandpa...but since you are not, Please take care of Nick for me.

Post Thanksgiving

Ah...Thanksgiving is over and it all seemed like a blur! When you have 7 kids, 4 of whom are sick...it is not a warm feeling (unless they are puking from coughing so hard)!

There is not much to be thankful for this year...I really wish there was. Financially, we are not doing that great, the kids, especially Kenny, hasn't been feeling well...not to mention all the problems (developmentally, hearing, lungs and eating) he has. My other kids are feeling tons of stress in our house, which I really want to tell them it will get better...but I need to believe it first. I feel like we are in a dark hole that we cant get out of.

Enough of my depressing babble...

We did, however, make something that I haven't made since I was a little girl...

Salt Dough ornaments! It is very fun...and the kids had a blast! (this was the LAST WEEK) LOL!

The holiday started off pretty well, on Thanksgiving eve the we all sat and cut up bread for the stuffing...it was one tradition that I really wanted to keep from when I was little. The kids were really into it this year. They knew exactly the size to cut the bread...it was very cute.

Then it was onto the pies...we made 4 chocolate and 2 pumpkin...I would have made more, but nobody told me that there was a difference between "sweetened" condensed milk and "non-sweetened"... I got the sweetened and was it thick! Kinda made the pumpkin pies take on an almost candy taste. The kids liked the chocolate pies better anyhow.

Onto Thanksgiving day....

Woke up nice and early (after being up with Gina and Kenny for about 4 hours total) at 6:30...started the stuffing, cleaned the 2 turkeys that we had. We usually get a 22 pounder, but instead, we bought a 12 and a 14 pounder. I was making 2 so one can stay here and one was to go over to my sister in laws house...since that was where we were going to have dinner this year. I was really looking forward to going...had the turkey, the brussel sprouts that we HAVE to have! Tony, my nephew John and his friend went to go to their annual "Turkey Bowl" football game. This was my husbands...I think 16th year...he will never get old...and that is what I like about him. He is always playing around like a kid. Loves football, baseball, basketball....anything that keeps him busy. I wish I had his energy! This is them getting ready to go have fun.

It all looked like everything was going like the perfect Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving I was hoping for...the kids were watching the Macy's Day Parade...my daughter Morgan looks forward to the Rockettes....ever since she was a little 3 yr. old...she had gotten to the point of critiqueing their outfits this year. She preferred last years outfits to this years. LOL! My Niece (John's wife) stayed over and was helping me with the kids. It was perfect....

until....

about a half hour before we were ready to leave, the 4 youngest ones started with the coughing that would not stop! What the heck was going on!

It ended up, that Tony took the 3 older ones to his sisters house while I stayed home with the sickies and made the side dishes for our dinner...which we were going to end up eating here. The kids took naps, and when Tony came home with the kids (around 5:30), Kayleigh and Kenny both had fevers of 102! Oh JOY! Then came the coughing that started the puking...um..can I get off the train yet...please? LOL

So fast forward a couple of days....3 nights from "you know where". Maybe....just maybe...8 hours of sleep TOTAL. It doesn't do a body or mind good.

Friday I took Kenny to get fitted for his hearing aids...It was a bittersweet moment. I know that he will be able to hear, and finally start picking up some more communication skills, but still...he has been through so much in his little life, that he shouldn't have to have a hearing problem. And yes, it is permanent. It isn't just for a short time...it is forever. It is a lot to take in. Anyhow, I picked out an almost indigo-ish color for the part that goes behind his ears, and the part that goes in his ears will be clear.

I also took him to his peds on Saturday morning because, again...all Friday night, he was up coughing and puking (from coughing so much). I was giving him his Pulmicort and Albuterol along with Vicks on his chest and back for his breathing...on a good note, he wasn't(isn't) wheezing...just coughing and breathing fast. The doctor just told me to keep up with the Albuterol for the cough. His pulse ox was 96...which is pretty normal for him...I was very relieved about that...I really thought he was going back in the hospital. I hate the cooler months for this reason.

We are all smooshed in this little house, we cant help but breathe on each other...there is no way around getting sick in here. My husband calls our house a "pathway" house...because there is only one path to walk through! And you know what...he is SO right!

I did put up the tree...we still have a lot of the decorations to put on it, but at least it is up...now to get my but in gear and take the "fall" decorations down from outside...maybe I'll make Tony do it. LOL!

I just want to say one more thing.

I want to thank the people on the site http://www.wishuponahero/, I put in a couple of wishes (under mtomecko)...one of which was for angel ornaments for our Christmas tree, and I have received my first one...It just made my day. You know, with all the bad going on in the world...and in my life, It is so nice to see that people that don't even know you, feel for you...care about you. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Now if I can get someone to help out with the dream home wish (we could really use a miracle right about now)...LOL

I'm gonna end this post with a few random pics from the last few days...

Can Gina get any cuter!!!! LOOK AT THOSE CHEEKS!!!

My two sick babies!

Our very own swipper the fox...he was hunting for his Thanksgiving dinner...squirrel...we actually have 3 foxes, one is light tan and huge, while the other 2 look like this!

Me...after 2 nights of no sleep...but I did get the tree up though! LOL! Just had to get a picture of Taylor in here.

Happy Birthday to Tony!

I just want to take a few minutes to wish my husband a very Happy Birthday. Hard to believe that I met him when he was a young 23...now, 20 years later, we are celebrating his 43rd!

We don't have much, but we have each other...and tons of kids...lol!!!

I love you honey! Happy Birthday! Here's to another 43 years!

November 2008

I am running on fumes...lol! I figured I'd update...it's about that time again.
Well, first off, is it possible that a person can function on coffee? Lots and lots of coffee! 7 kids, doing homework with 4 of them, a 4 month old who likes to eat every 2 hours, the same one loves to wake up at night just as much! A 18 month old (who is more like an 8 month old) who has 2 different breathing treatments 3 times a day, pt/ot every week...on top of me working with him every day, him waking up at 3:00 am EVERY night since coming out of the hospital., coughing..and staying up till 5 then by that time Gina is up again, so I just stay up and get the kids school stuff together. I feel like I am in the movie Groundhog Day...it just keeps repeating and repeating! UGH!!!!
Yeah...I am SO ready for a weekend away...yep...anyone willing to watch 7 kids for a weekend? I don't think so! LOL
I love and hate this time of year... I love the first snow fall (which btw, already happened). I love putting up all the decorations, listening to Christmas music, the smell of pumpkin pies, cinnamon, apples and evergreens. Buying or making gifts for people, and watching all the holiday shows. I also just put up our tree...yes I know it's a little early, but...well...I needed a little change from the last couple of Thanksgivings...see, It was 2 years ago that Taylor asked me "mom...if you had twin boys, what would you name them"...2 weeks later, I got a positive on a pregnancy test...then a month after that...was one of the happiest, most exciting times...I found out that I was preggers with twins...my Nick and Kenny. Then last Thanksgiving, I got a positive on another test! This Thanksgiving (NO I am NOT pregnant again), I have a beautiful new daughter, Gina, and my Kenny is working on getting stronger every day. I was hoping that the pain of losing Nick would have gotten easier, but that is not the case.
My days are so busy, I barely have time to breath. I can only hope that it will be worth it in the long run.
I also want to say R.I.P. to Father Robert Hoban. He was the Pastor of our church. He was a wonderful person who cared for everyone. He helped my oldest son, work through the death of Nick. He was also the priest that buried Nick. Who would have thought that a year and a half later he would not be here, but with Nick...probably holding him. He went through so much with the cancer he had, I am praying for his family...what a horrible time of year to lose someone...well...I guess it is never a good time to lose a loved one, but the holidays...so, so sad.
Lets see...my kids are doing very well. Tony, Taylor, Morgan and Sydnie are loving school this year! There is just SO much homework! As they are growing up, I love seeing their personalities come out! Tony is very persistant..LOL...Taylor, well she is a very artistic little girl who really doesn't like makeup, but love dolls. Morgan LOVES makeup, fashion and teen magazines...yup...I'm in trouble with her! LOL. Sydnie is the brainy one...she is only 5 and in kindergarten, but her teacher told us that she should be in first grade! GO FIGURE! Kayleigh is an in between of Sydnie and Morgan, she loves makeup, but also is a little smarty pants...for only being 3! Kenny is the love bug...he loves to be loved and loves being played with. And finally, Gina...She loves to be held and giggles at everything.
Kenny is now getting hearing aids in both ears because he has mild to moderate hearing loss in both ears. It should be interesting to see how he does keeping the aids in the ears. I learned some signs to start doing with Kenny...Mom, Dad, milk, all done, finished, and thank you. I never for the life of me ever thought that I would have to learn sign language. He is also still on 1/8 liter of oxygen at night..which he really doesn't like to keep in! Developmentally, he is crawling on on his forearms and is able to pull up to a kneeling position. I am still real sad that he is still REALLY behind, but we are working with him. I think that once he gets his hearing aids, it will help. I just pray every day that when Kenny starts school, that the kids dont make fun of him and how he talks (because of his hearing loss) and of his aids. I know how cruel kids can be.
Gina, our newest is now 4 months old. She weighs in at a hefty 13 lbs. and is perfect and right on(developmentally) for her age. If we can just get her to sleep through the night now! LOL!!
We had Gina and Kenny baptized a couple of weeks ago. It was beautiful. My sisters were the Godmothers and Tony's friend and brother were the Godfathers. My sisters surprised me with a beautiful sash for Kenny to wear with his name on one side and Nicks on the other...such a nice way to remember Nick on this special day! The outfits that my sisters got for Kenny & Gina were so beautiful. The whole day was very perfect. My twin sister even surprised me by coming in with her whole family from Alabama! I miss them so much! Her kids and mine are as close as sisters and brothers...even though they live so far away from each other!
On a side note...I can use every one's prayers that we either win the lottery or that somehow, someway we come into some money to buy our dream home. We have found it. Tony and I have had our eyes on it for 2 years now. It is everything that we every wanted AND need in a house. It is new, so that means that it is very clean...for Kenny's sake, that is very important. There is no drafts, dust, old paint, mold...well...everything we have in our house now. There is enough space for all of us to live comfortably...it is just perfect...the only problem is that it is very expensive. I have posted on the site wishuponahero.com for prayers...so I will ask all of you for the same. We need some happiness and a miracle. These last 2 years has taken a toll on Tony and myself.

Here is our dream home...(so please say some prayers that somehow we can get it)

Well...let me get going. The kids are starting to get crazy...

Whats with...

Whats with ...

EVERYONE (celebs) expecting TWINS?????!!!!

What...God thought THEY could handle them, but I couldnt? I could have...I would have given anything. These celebs have millions and STILL have twins...I dont have squat, and have a surviving twin that is special needs...I Just dont get it. I try to do everything right in life...go to church, nice to everyone, try to help people as much as possible, etc... yet..God didnt think I could handle twins? I am having a moment! I am feeling really down! Why is it that I couldnt have both of MY twins? LIFE IS NOT FAIR!!!! I was so ready to be a mom to twins. It was something that I've always dreamed of. I love my Kenny with all my heart...please dont get me wrong...I just miss the whole "mommy of twins" thing that I was looking forward to. I'm so sad today...maybe it's from lack of sleep...I dunno.I'm going to have a BIG glass of wine now!

Oh...BTW..Happy Birthday (In Heaven) John...tomorrow (Aug. 6)

I hope you are spending it with Nick. Love and miss you, Bro!
I feel really bad for my parents now knowing what it feels like to lose a child. It hurts...birthdays hurt. Love you tons Mom & Dad.

Update On Life

We are proud parents to 8 children...(7 living and one angel)!
I had Gina on the 17th of July @ 36 weeks...the furthest I've ever been with a pregnancy! yeay me! LOL! The labor and birth were perfect. Gina is a little sweetie. She LOVES to sleep on anyone's chest...especially my DH's...oh he is gonna spoil her! LOL!!! She does poop A LOT! Just about every diaper change...and Isomil Advanced formula makes for a very STINKY poop! LMBO! She is up every 3-4 hours which is typical. Thank God I am still used to it from Kenny...who BTW is sleeping through the night now. I don't know what I would do if they BOTH were up all night long! It is harder than if I were to have had the twins, because Kenny is doing more things than her. More demanding and needs more attention, especially with his physical therapy. So my days consist of cleaning, feeding one or the other, changing diapers, physical therapy, and cooking. I really don't mind it. I guess that is what comes with having tons of kids. I just would love to get out of the of the house every once in a while.

Here is the birth story:
I went in to be induced, but I was already contracting. He checked me and I was 4-5 at about 10 p.m. (they were very busy in L & D that night. I was in the triage area from 7-10). Anyhow he told me that he didn't want to give me pitocin because of the previous 2 c-sections...I guess it could bring on too strong of contractions and rip open the old incisions...YUUUUUCK! So...he said that he wanted to break my water, but AFTER I had the epidural, because I go fast. Well...again...the anesthesiologist was in the O.R. till 2:00 am....so until that time, I was STILL just 4-5 dilated (I have to speed this story up, because the kids are driving me nuts!!!)2:00 - broke my water2:30 - got the epi (ahhhhh what a relief)4:00 - the contractions were starting to get strong, but I wasn't feeling any pain...just looking at the monitor!the nurse and student doctor checked me...I was a 65:15 - started getting sick to my stomach and shake...I knew I was getting to 10!!! I had the student doc check me and I was 7-8!5:30 - I felt some pressure in my butt...no pain though! I was shaking real bad and I KNEW I was complete...I told my nurse that someone better check me because I was feeling REALLY bad....she called the doctor in and the doctor checked and said I was a nine....wait....the rest of the cervix just went away...you are now a 10 and ready to push! I couldn't feel myself pushing and I knew I was pushing really wrong....I kept getting really frustrated because of it so my doc got the forceps and just used them to help get her head out. I was pushing for about 10 minutes and out she came. I didn't tear or anything! It was THE BEST birth experience ever! Totally made up for last year with the twins!

Kenny is doing pretty good. We are switching him over to pediasure because he needs to gain some weight (he is not quite 17 lbs.), and I guess it has 30 calories rather than the 24 that Neosure has per bottle. He is still not really sitting up on his own. If I sit with him on the floor, and hold his hips, he sits for about a half hour. Buuut he doesn't use his arms to hold himself up...and that is the problem. He needs to build up his arm muscles. He is not even crawling yet because of his arms. He still is on his forearms and not his hands. He is still on 1/8 liter of oxygen at night though, so that is a big step. We are working on Kenny eating some textured foods because he has a gag reflex to anything with small pieces. This is due to his breathing tube. So he gets half a cheerio in his mouth about 3-4 times a day...until he is comfortable with it...so far...he is so not! He does say mama, dada, aba (baba) though....oh he also says "yeah" when he is excited! LOL!

He is the love of my life and I am so blessed with him...we are just going to keep working on his physical and occupational therapy and get him where he needs to be, developmentally! I am kinda having a hard time with thinking of "what ifs"...you know...what if Nick was here. I would have my twins...which I always knew, in my heart that I would have one day... what would he be doing? How much fun it would be with two baby boys. *sigh* ...It must just be the postpartum kicking in.

Just a little poem

I know I haven't posted in a loooong time. There is so much happening in our lives right now that it's been really hard to even find the time to get online! Anyhow, I found a beautiful poem that has brought many tears to my eyes and would love to share with you.

A Different Child

A different child,

People notice

There's a special glow around you.

You grow

Surrounded by love,

Never doubting you are wanted;

Only look at the pride and joy

in your mother and father's eyes.

And if sometimes

Between the smiles

There's a trace of tears,

One dayYou'll understand.

You'll understand

There was once another child

A different child

Who was in their hopes and dreams.

That child will never outgrow the baby clothes

That child will never keep them up at night

In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.

Except sometimes, in a silent moment,

When mother and father miss so much

That different child.

May hope and love wrap you warmly

And may you learn the lesson forever

How infinitely precious

How infinitely fragile

Is this life on earth

One day, as a young man or woman

You may see another mother's tears

Another father's silent grief

Then you, and you alone

Will understand

And offer the greatest comfort.

When all hope seems lost,

You will tell them

With great compassion,

"I know how you feel. I'm only here

Because my mother tried again."

Written by Pandora Diane MacMillan

I have also finished the second half of my twin movie. I will be posting it asap.
Kenny has been sick on and off this whole winter season. It is mostly his lungs that are giving him problems. He is on Albuterol for his wheezing episodes. He has learned to love the smell of Vicks! LOL! His physical therapy has been doing OK...but because of being sick a lot, he has missed going to some of his appointments. Luckily, The PT comes to our house 2 times a month!
He is now a very vocal and active little man. We are working on his arm strength. His legs are getting nice and strong...he is even placing weight on them and locking his little knees, bur he is still not grabbing for things and not lifting his upper body up on his arms a whole lot. Oh! I also started him on baby food. He loves his sweet potatoes, cereal and bananas...but cant stand peas and beans. He is around 14 1/2 lbs now...my little chub-ster! I guess that's about it. Will update very soon with pics!