Someone to be there...

I am going to jump into something here that I have been thinking about for about a year now...

What makes a person want to help others? Be there for someone for moral support? Want to go full force with a cause that is near and dear?

Well, I think I can answer that.

When Nick was dying in the NICU, we had a person from the Hospice in the room with us. She introduced herself to Tony and I and asked if we needed anything. I honestly don't remember her name or anything else about her, and at that point, it seemed very irrelevant...but I do remember her kindness and support along with all the nurses that were there to help us through the whole "process".

Then, every week for 2 years we had a counselor from the pediatric dept. of the hospice come and just talk to the kids and us. I really felt that we were not alone in losing a child and my kids losing a sibling. She was a friend to the kids. She got them to talk about and honor Nick's short life. She help the kids through all of Kenny's issues and she was there for my husband and I. Gave us moral support in the grieving process. Told us it was normal to feel what we were feeling...


Well...as of a couple of days ago, I registered to be part of the hospice as a Support Parent. I will be receiving training in January to be a person that can be there for a family that has a child with a chronic illness or who have just lost a child. To answer questions, to be an ear if they need to vent and to help them from a "parent who has been there, done that."

I really feel that between this and volunteering with The March of Dimes, that I have found what was supposed to be. I want to make what we have been through easier on other families who are just going through the whole born too early, NICU stay, death of a child and dealing with a child with a chronic illness. Its the path that I feel that I was meant to take. I know I am strong enough now and to help others, I know God will be there backing me on this. I have been through more than most...and I am here. I am happy. I am healthy. I did not curl up in a corner like some thought I would. Life has gone on and yes, I miss my Nick and grieve for him every minute of every day...but he wouldn't want me to not go on with life...my kids, husband and family don't deserve it and I really want to show him that his loss is not in vain. I am stronger because of losing him...I don't like it, but feel good knowing that he will never be forgotten!

So...with this...I will go forward with life and turn all the lemons that have happened to us into the best lemonade made with love, compassion, hard work and determination.