First Day of Fall...and a party to boot!

Today started off like any morning lately...my internal clock waking me at precisely 4:45 in the morning. Did I really want to get up...not really but I knew I had to get started on what was to be a very busy day. First things first, since giving up coffee due to gastritis that doesn't want to do right by me, I put my morning cup of tea on...then off to work. Baking 5 dozen chocolate brownies, 2 dozen cookies, one large bowl of death by chocolate dessert, a huge party bowl of my famous Italian salad, decorating, decorating and more decorating. Did I mention that at five in the morning when you have the hide-a-way bed open for the girls to sleep on...its always safe to make sure that your youngest (who isn't very good with her pee problems at night and still wears a diaper/pull up) child is wearing the diaper you asked your oldest daughters to put on her last night. Only to find the bed/couch soaked from pee, and no diaper on her...yeah, won.der.ful!
So after the pee episode, I got right back to baking...then, at 6:30, Kenny decides to wake up. Now when he gets up in the morning, he has lately been very, very demanding. Demanding on eating, playing, not wanting his diaper changed...just very challenging. So he didn't want his diaper changed right away...OK, I thought to myself, I could do it...sure...wait a while and just let him play...WRONG...ever since he's been working on eating solids (mostly stage 3 baby foods), he's had very watery stool. Were trying things to stop it, especially since I was thinking he actually gained weight because of how much he's been taking in by mouth...yeah...I win mother of the year award...he got weighed last week and lost another pound. WTF?! So you're probably wondering where this is all going...the talking of poop...well, yeah...you guessed it, he walked into the kitchen and BAM...the stench hit me hard! The dreaded "d" word! I walked him into the room to change him and, LET.ME.TELL.YOU...changing a diaper of a 5 year old with watery poop is NO FUN.
After changing him, washing my hands and spraying disinfecting spray...back to work I went. By noon, I got almost everything done. Enough time to just do the basics and relax for a half an hour until the food had to be put in the oven...for the party at 3. Did I mention I gave up caffeine and even wine? uh...yeah.
With this party, I have learned a few things...
1. I learned that you cant beg family to attend parties...especially because we have so many kids. Even though I keep telling everyone that the reason is not so my kids get gifts, we just want them to grow up around family...that's all. Its a great way for our families to get together and celebrate, talk..just have a good family get-together, I just have to say, thank goodness that I had a family/friend party for them...it turned out to be mostly friends.
2. That when you have a special needs child and a few teenagers, chances are the teens wont really want to help...the excuse of it not being their party so why should THEY have to clean or help take care of the little ones while I do it all...sucks.
3. Never....EVER think that large amounts of candy and sweets are a great party spread! Holy crazy farm, was my house loud with 40+ kids in our small 1100 sq. ft. house, a rainy cold day, and second & fourth grade boys scaring the cr@p out of all the little girls at the party.
4. I was glad I didn't scrub the house down before the party...esp. when one kid decided to shake and then open a 2 liter of red pop in my kitchen...yeah...does anyone know how to get the red stain out of woodwork, tile grout and counter tops? haha'
5. That with that many kids, they will eat and eat and eat! It was very comparable to when my kids get home from school, the amount they all consumed. Except...no one ate the two round birthday cakes we bought for the girls.
6. I really need to invest in overalls for Kenny (who cannot keep pants on for nothing)...the kid needs some butt fat!
7. 4 packages of Pillsbury crescent rolls and 4 packs of mini hot dogs makes all kids happy! Boy am I an expert at those appetizers!
8. Never drip hot chocolate onto a pinkie finger...ummm...ouch!
9. Living on a main road when parents are dropping off or picking up from a party...isn't very easy for said parents to do...due to lack of parking.
and finally...

10, Having a themed seasonal party is AMAZING...so much to do...thanks to Pinterest (yes, you can follow me and all of my great boards/pins)...and a good cup of decaf tea and a hot soak in the tub is very relaxing after an extremely crazy party...that is...until you hear Kenny starting the meltdown phase of a very over-stimulating day.

Finally starting up posting again...

But will take a few moments to talk about something that I found for my house that makes it smell as clean as a house with...uh...not so many kids...tee hee.



I chose to buy the lavender defusser for my bathroom and the Figi apple/spice spray for my downstairs! No more dangerous candles for me. The smell that these throw off are just better than plug ins, because you can spray the spray anywhere...and the pretty delicate design of the diffuser looks great in my bathroom! I also could not get over how long lasting the scent lasted! I spray In the morning, and my house still smells good by the afternoon! I am in awe of this product! There are 4 great scents to choose from so whichever one your store carries, i'd recommend trying any one of these!

...this is a great product that I really wanted to share with my readers!
I do have coupons for these that I can get out to you. Just e-mail me!

...and now, back to the Tomecko Ecko after a slight summer break!

First bee sting....

After a whole 5 years...and a complete summer, Kenny got his very first bee sting. I wasn't even sure it was a sting at first. I just though that he fell and scraped his arm until he kept making the ouchie face and he actually was said owe. I then looked more closely at it and saw that it has a center to it! Poor baby! Not one tear from his eyes though! What a tough little dude!

A Kenny update:

Day 6 hospital stay: sleeping soundly after a very active and playful day. Tonight he is sporting the new fashion accessories...a 24 hour heart monitor and a pulse ox/apnea monitor. The 40-ish heart rate following his GI study night wasn't a fluke.
He did amazingly well on eating for me today. With a small amount of pureed grilled cheese sandwich (yeah, it looked like how you'd picture it. The cook must have had fun blending that! All that pent up aggression towards sandwiches...after years upon school years of seeing/eating/trading them in the lunchbox...then having to make them for ungrateful people at the hospital who criticize them, the cook, for over/under grilling them...well, this grilled cheese was the payback! In the end, it looked almost as appetizing as the pureed chicken and mac & cheese!

Hoping they figure out this unexpected heart issue and he gets to come home tomorrow.
The house and kids...well...just everything is off kilter. The world seems like I am living in bizarro world! Everything still going on like normal all around us, but for our family, our world is just crazy. I just want the normalcy...well...our normalcy again.

Pray for no bradycardia episodes tonight!

P.s. On a great note, my cupcake adventure has taken off far more than I ever thought. I can soon (after all this with Kenny), start back up on my milestones shirts...my cupcake sales are funding everything I do with that. Yay!

Just a bump in the road....

Literally!
Another crazy day in the life of being a Tomecko I suppose. My husband and I took 6 of the 7 kids with us to The Home Depot to get some flowers and look at sheds...yeah, crazy taking all of them, but it really wasn't too bad...that is, until we started on our journey home.
We all know how bumpy streets could get, but when you are in the back of a 12 passenger van going slower than the 35mph speed limit (because you know this bump all too well after hitting it a few times)...and all of a sudden, going over it threw the girls (wearing their shoulder belts) to the ceiling and shattered the side back window!
No one was hurt...just completely and utterly shaken up. The whole back window had that shattered weblike look to it...that is, until we continued driving on our way home...then all of the glass started falling out(mind you, the road was still as bumpy as ever).
As we pulled into our driveway, Tony and I just looked at each other and shook our heads...WHAT ELSE? What else could happen...eh...we really didnt want to know. I immediately called the insurance company from the driveway, only to be told that it was the 500 deductible but she connected me to a car window place...their best price? Four hundred and eighty-nine dollars. Ugh...we're getting out of debt, and this is not what we needed. The next day, while i was at the police dept. Making a police report about the stupid city's street, Tony talked to one of his friends who did windows...needless to say, we got it down to almost half of what it would cost.
As of today, we still haven't heard from the city (who said they would pay for it). And 2, they (the city) has since shaved the bump and fixed it after putting up a big sign following my police visit which included taking a police officer to the bump...where he saw with his own eyes how dangerous it was!
Well, we are out around $300, but at least I know no one else will either get hurt or have their vehicle damaged from THEIR road!

Father's Day 2012

It's Father's Day 2012 and so much has gone on these last few week that life has been in a sort of whirlwind. Between school ending for summer for the kids, and hubby getting extremely busy...seems like there isn't enough time in the day to sit and just relax!
On this Fathers day, I want to tell my daddy that he has been so important to me...all through growing up and even now. He is just the right mix of a laid back, calm dad...whom always wore great smelling cologne, to the hard working mailman that was proud to show his kids where he worked. He is so special to me and for this, I thank him and wish him the happiest Father's Day ever (with many more to come).
Secondly...to my wonderfully hard working, barely getting any sleep...yet very loving and caring hubby. I never met anyone who works 18-20 hours a day to get his business going strong, but still have time to help me with Kenny and the rest of the kids. Without him, I honestly don't know what I'd do. We are like chocolate to milk, socks to feet...soil to a garden! We balance each other out. You are my soul mate and my best friend....and one day, our dreams WILL come true!
So Happy Father's Day to the two most important men in my life. I love and admire you both with my heart and soul! To my daddy, thank you for giving me a great family growing up...with lots of sisters to talk too. To my hubby, thank you for giving me 8 beautiful babies, a crazy a$$ loud family that we would be bored to death if we didn't have.

The trilogy of life...

Another school year over and done with. A long needed break from waking up early, getting six kids up, dressed, fed and out the door. Homework assignments done and is a thing of the past...that is, at least for the next 2 months. Not only is it a break from the craziness of everything school, but it's a good break to chill, relax and enjoy the kids...they are growing up so fast!
We finally experienced the first of many graduations from middle school to high school. The emotions that I have been feeling range from "where has the time gone" shock, to my first born..."I remember his first day of school" sadness. Being such a small, close knit family type of school, the kids and parents are like extend family. watching them walk and get their certificates of graduation to ninth grade...well...it's just so surreal. Hearing all the different high schools being called out after their names...brought a tear to my eyes. Thinking of the futures that are in store for them...I wish only the best of life, good health, happy and exciting moments and strength to be the best that they can be.
It's another chapter starting and I am excited and scared to read the next page...I guess that comes with age, because being young means being worry and care free. It's time where these teens start experiencing the moments that will make up their future. First dates, what classes and extra curricular activities they will pick in high school. What new friends they will make...it's like a new start for them. My high school days were the best! I was no longer considered a "nerd". I met new and lifelong friends (thanks to Facebook for some reconnections). I knew what I wanted to do and be...yeah, it didn't quite turn out the way I planned (brother dying, meeting someone unplanned that stole my heart, head on car accident, and oh... lots and lots of kids), but at least I had a plan. I was going to be an artist, a painter, an interior designer...I was going places! Now I have new plans...I'm always planning, that's how I roll (lol). My life and the way it has played out, has taken me to new ideas and interests. I'm an advocate for prematurity and special needs, I love to cook and bake for people, and I plan on going back to school as soon as Kenny and Gina are in school full time. I will show my kids that it's not too late to finish college...and that college is very important.
My oldest son...I remember his first day of school and every day since. I have bags and boxes of random school and artwork he would bring home. Some unable to part with but I think it's because I don't want to part with the fact that he is no longer a small child that I can kiss his boo boo and everything would be alright. He is almost fifteen and has to experience life. Has to experience accomplishments, hurt, hard work, dignity, failure and responsibility...life. Everything that will make him a well rounded, wonderful and loving adult.
I guess I will hold my breath and turn the page of life. Oh how the anxiety is building. Teehee

Newspaper, newspaper...where THE HECK is the newspaper

So as my last few days have been very trying on my psyche, with Kenny's disability being cut all because of incompetent people. Then there's me fighting on the phone with computerized voice mails because the actual people that are getting paid big bucks to be helping you are taking a breakfast break, after breakfast break, lunch break, after lunch break, mid afternoon break, post break, break helping others or are not at their desk (at the moment). I've decided that I'm done allowing people to walk all over me...in any shape or form. Where is this all going? Well, this morning was Kenny's last day of special needs preschool and I was running around trying to get him together and make sure the other kids were ready for school...I just didn't want Kenny late on his last day of school. We get in the car, and to my surprise, the gas gauge wasn't even budging towards the lower part of the red line....in other words, I was screwed...the gas guzzler small bus that I call "The Green Giant", was gonna die midway to dropping the kids and then Kenny off at school. I made it to the older kids school...thank God. I pulled into the gas station, searched the black hole...also known as...my purse (remind me to get a smaller, more compact one) to get my debit card out. Not sure how much I had left in the account, I only put $10.01...yeah...that penny is gonna put me over the edge ;) I filled the van with a little over 2 gallons...woot woot...at least I'll be at peace knowing that I wont run out of gas in the parkway. OK...off to drop Kenny off. I was just a little late, but it was alright.
I drove off to reach my final destination...home sweet home...well, as sweet as it could be...with the remaining scent of incense that my lovely neighbors were burning all night long...ugh. As I was waiting for the cars to go by so I can pull into the driveway, I noticed a woman that was walking down the street, in front of (said) neighbors house. I also noticed that we got the weekly newspaper. It was laying on our driveway...just up a bit from the sidewalk. I took notice in it because I thought to myself that we needed more Pediasure coupons for Kenny and I was hoping they'd be in the coupon section. We pulled in, the woman walked past...I stayed in the car for a few minutes with Gina because we were listening to a funny thing on the morning radio show. OK...it ended. I got Gina out and in the house and I told her that I was just gonna go and get the newspaper laying at the bottom of our driveway. I walked down there...and it was gone. I thought...maybe it was stuck to a tire...or something...it was just gone...not even 2 minutes went by from pulling in and my newspaper is missing. Then it dawned on me...THE WOMAN WALKER! She was already 6 houses down and I yelled down to her..."Hey, did you take my paper"?...no answer...she just kept walking. OK...maybe she didn't hear me..or she didn't take it...but, there was no other explanation! Now...normally, I would just be like...oh well...I'll just get another one from the store....but not with the way my last few days have been going...
I told Gina to wait inside, that I'd be right back (Tony was home)....I get in the Green Giant and head east...where I pulled right into a driveway...cutting the woman off from going any further. I rolled my window down and politely asked her if she took my newspaper...then I notice that she had ear buds in her ears (which is why she never responded to my yelling down the street like a mad woman)...and in her hand...folded into a 6 inch block...was MY NEWSPAPER. She had it folded and drawn up inside her sleeve of her sweatshirt! She held out the newspaper as soon as I spotted it with my eyes (she was SO BUSTED and SHE KNEW IT), and just said..."I'm sorry" with an "I'm totally busted for stealing this" look and nervous smile). Held out her hand holding the paper and I snatched it right up. I then proceeded to lecture her...loudly...about stealing other peoples newspapers. I told her that I couldn't believe that a grown woman wouldn't know any better than that...I even called her a newspaper thief to her face. I told her that she should be ashamed for stealing and GETTING CAUGHT red handed...taking someones delivered newspaper! All she kept doing was apologizing with that stupid look on her face! After giving her a piece of my mind, I put my van in reverse and proudly drove up the street to my house! This was not just for me...it was for all the people out there that gets their papers taken by "walkers"! It felt good finally busting someone that could care less about how a person pays for their newspapers...hey, if it laying on the driveway in someones yard...DON'T TAKE IT...ITS NOT YOURS!!!
I will sleep a little better tonight knowing that maybe, just maybe...this woman has a clepto issue that I just brought to light for her!

One interesting rescue...

This Mother's Day has been, well...one very interesting one. One that I never thought I would ever do. I rescued a baby raccoon after it got hit by a car. Sure...I know a lot of you out there are going to be scolding me (just like my hubby)...but I am a mom...when I see a baby...be it human or an animal, my first instinct is to take care of it...and that's what I did.

Keep in mind that I did NOT let any of the kids near it. I know how highly transmittable rabies is in the raccoon population so I made sure I wore heavy duty gloves.

I was very surprised that when I called a wildlife rescue preserve...well, actually 2 of them...they told me that they will not take raccoons of any kind. If I were to bring it in to them, they would gladly take it, but they would euthanize it.

I was floored. How in Gods name could anyone kill a baby animal not knowing if it has rabies or not. I honestly felt that this little one didn't have rabies. It was a very loving little creature...but then again, I honestly didn't want to take that chance. My sister and I let it loose in the woods...where we think it came from. Yes there were tears and I soooo badly wanted to go and bring it back home. It kept following me to the car. But we really had to do it. Its momma would find it and it would be alright. I just wish there was a blood test to see if an animal has rabies. I just think its so sad that this little fighter wanted to live and the so called rescuers (who are there to save wildlife) are more willing to kill it or "let nature take its course"...if that was the case, and I would have let nature take its course with my twins born too early...I wouldn't have a beautiful little boy who is now 5.

I have to say...it was a very cool feeling holding a baby raccoon. I really think I want to work with animals...maybe rehabbing those that no one wants.

May God bless and keep you safe...

I used to think that I was so lucky that I never knew, experienced or witnessed a child that has died. I actually remember a conversation with my mom when I was a teenager. It went something along the lines of me asking my mom if we ever had any child die in our family. My mom told me that the only one she remembers hearing about was that of my grandpa Kowalczyk. His little sister was burned from a fire and died from her injuries...but that was about it (now I know why I have such a fear of campfires, grills, bonfires, etc...with kids)

That our family was extremely lucky that we never had to experience the loss of a child. Then...my brother passed away unexpectedly at age 24...I saw how devastated my parents were. I remember the long drive home from Bowling Green, we were visiting the college to see if we (my twin and I) wanted to go there. There is where they they were told he had died...yeah...way back then we didn't have cell phones. A police officer had to stop us and bring us back to the station where my sister was calling and told my parents. The look on their faces...the look of raw sadness...they just lost their only son. It was the worst day of every ones life. That day, our family was changed forever.

Fast forward to today. I never thought that I would be feeling the same exact feeling that my parents felt years back. The dispair, the sick, empty and lost feeling of losing your child.

Since losing Nick (along with several miscarriages) I have witnessed more and more sickness and death of children then I care for. I had to take a leave of absence from my roll as volunteer at the Hospice because of Kenny and his needs, but other than that...it seems like there are so many families that have lost a child in one way or another. I am so sad for the ones that are just starting on the journey of a life without their child and grateful to those who have been through it for quite some time and have helped me through tough times.

Yesterday a woman I met through another friend who lost her son, has started her journey. She and her husband lost their beautiful six year old (same age as my Kayleigh) daughter, Ainsley. She went in for surgery and all I know is that she passed away after her surgery. She had MITO, the same thing that claimed the life of my other dear friends son. This was very unexpected and such a shock to me. Here you have this beautiful little girl fighting for her life every day. Showing courage and just living life....you have her mom who is such a strong woman who does so much for the MITO community and for her daughter and for her friends....and now she is gone. Sometimes I just don't understand how life can be so cruel. I mean, we are NOT supposed to have to be a caregiver for a sick child let alone have to bury that child. It just is so...final. I know that life has no rules. You are to live it to the fullest because you never know...but as I get older, I am finding that I am not really liking this whole "getting old" thing. There is too much sadness and uncertainty...not to mention, the superficial aspect of it...the lines in the face, the grey hair starting, the weight that you have to work just a little harder to get rid of...

I find myself looking at everything with a little hesitation. I worry about the little things and big things. I guess my anxiety is getting the best of me...but after seeing so much sadness, sickness and death, who wouldn't.

I also find myself with much more compassion for those who are facing such as what I said above. I can relate...I may not have the right words to say to them at times, but I do understand the stress from taking care of a sick child, the not knowing what is to come, and the feelings you have when you lose a child. I don't care if it has been from a miscarriage, stillbirth, newborn or child....it hurts and digs down deep no matter what.

So today I am dedicating to all my friends who have a chronically ill child and to those who have lost their precious child. May we find strength to carry on and make it through the tough days. Love in our hearts for ourselves and for others that we know we did/are doing all we can for our babies...that we don't get into such a dark place where we cant function...because that is NOT what our little ones (who are here and who are angels) would want or need. And faith, that there is a reason that only God knows, why our babies are sick and fighting a tough life and for those who have lost their little ones, that our angels are in a safe, beautiful place and that we WILL see them again (yeah...sometimes I need reassurance of this).

God bless.

Give a kid a camera...

I was in the kitchen washing dishes...yeah...long story short...the dishwasher broke, I thought I fixed it but it is still not washing...so washing by hand is better than by machine.

Anyhow...so as I am washing the dishes, I hear Kenny and Gina laughing like crazy in the living room. I thought that they were just playing with their toys. I walked in there, and I find Gina taking pictures of Kenny. Telling him that he was posing good and that one was a good picture!

I thought I'd find pictures like these...

 and then I came across these on the camera...

I think I have a photographer in the making...and a little male model

(notice the tie Gina put on him) haha!

A celebration worth remembering

Over the weekend, I figured out what makes Kenny open up and finally be a normal child...DOGS!

My sister brought her dogs to the Communion/Birthday party we had for my great nephew and Kenny...he was a very happy little boy! I saw something that I never saw before, he didn't care about his shoes not being on, he wasn't in his own little world...he was communicating with the animals. He smiled, talked and walked the animals...he was having so much fun!

Kenny walked the dog everywhere...and was so proud!

  We sang Happy Birthday...

 

 The way he looks at me...

 Melts my heart!

He's come such a long way...

From the NICU

 ...and when it was time for him to blow out the candle...

I just knew Nick was with us...

The wind blew out the candle, but I felt that it was Nick who blew it out!

Nicks angelversary

Notice the chapter and verse...todays date...Nicks Angelversary

It seems like five years was a lifetime ago...but the pain is as strong as yesterday.

Seeing him in the NICU and telling the nurses to keep an eye on him because I didn't like the way he looked. Walking back to my room and then the nurse came in and told me that there was a problem with him. She already called Tony to come down to the hospital. I cried so hard. Rushing back into the NICU seeing the doctors and nurses working on him. Ordering blood transfusion after blood transfusion. Sitting in chairs 20 ft away, unable to do anything but watch and pray. I wanted to throw up, cry, run out of there...anything to not face what was happening. the nurses handing me tissues and water. Just sitting there with Tony. It was three hours...three hours, maybe even longer. I knew in my heart that God wanted him to come home. I just knew it. But I just couldn't believe that my worst nightmare was happening. HOW could it be happening? When the doctors told us that there was nothing more they could do, we cried and cried. He was still alive, do something...anything...dont let my baby die!!!!

They handed him to me to hold for the first time. I held him. I was finally holding my baby. He was so little, so light, like holding a doll. But he was real. He was alive right now. He was our baby. Our baby that was leaving us. I looked and studied his face so I wouldn't forget any detail about our little Nick. The way he smelled, the cute little chin that looked just like Kennys, the perfect blond hair...I kissed him and kissed him. He was still alive....cant someone do something...anything. Don't let him die. I held his face against my face telling him it was alright. Uncle John was waiting for you with open arms. He needed a nephew, a baby up there to hold since he's missed out on all his kids growing up and all his nieces and nephews...and his own grandchildren. Nick was going to finally meet Uncle John. I told him that it was alright...mommy and daddy would be alright. Watch over us, your brothers and sisters, your twin. How could this be happening. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. I wanted your brother and sisters to meet you, they were so excited. They never got the chance to see you.

I didn't even get the chance to hold my twins together, to get a picture of my twins together...the nurses then asked if I wanted pictures of my twins together...yes...God yes...but not like this. I wanted to be holding both babies, pink and fat, bundled up with little hats on their heads...crying and wanting to eat. I wanted pictures of them together playing, sleeping, the first day of school together...all the firsts...together. Not like this. It wasn't fair. My cheeks were red, from so much tears and wiping...I just wanted this day to have not happened...but it did. I miss you Nick with all my heart and soul. When you died, a part of me went with you. I wanted you to be part of our big, crazy family. You made me realize that life is a very special gift. I just wish that we had more time to spend together...but isn't that always the case. I at least got to tell you that I loved you very very much and I know you put up a fight to live...but now you are watching over your twin and helping him get through each day. Its hard, its very, very hard. A parent should never have to bury a child.

I miss you my angel...I miss you.

A few poems that I wrote on how I'm feeling today...

When You Lose A Child

http://mtomecko.blogspot.com/2011/04/when-you-lose-child.html

I Visited You Today

http://mtomecko.blogspot.com/2010/09/i-visited-you-today.html