Frawsomeday (awesome Friday)

So, how can you get mad at a face that looks like this....
For doing...something like this....After he came home from school with this.... Oh yeah...what a day its turning out to be. Happy Friday everyone!

Just in: adding to this wonderful Friday...its pouring rain, its cold out and now the school just called and we are picking Morgan up from there...she's got a fever.

It's that time of year....again.

Its that time of year again...cooler, wetter weather means the start of the cold and flu season...and that is exactly what we are starting to feel over here at the Tomecko house. It started out with just me having the coughing and runny nose...a few weeks ago, and now the stupid coughing has spread to Gina, Taylor, Morgan, Kayleigh, Kenny and I even heard my hubby coughing quite a bit last night. Gina is by far, the worst out of everyone (knock on wood that no one else gets as bad...mainly Kenny). She was up all night...er...I should say that WE were up all night long with the coughing and puking (from mucus). Then this morning she woke up with a fever and a really hard time breathing. So its off to the doctor today. I'm sure its an upper respiratory infection..she is really breathing hard and fast with a rattle in her chest. I pray, pray, pray it doesn't get to Kenny, who already is coughing much more than normal.

I forgot to mention on here last week about Gina cutting her hair...well...maybe I did, but I didn't show pictures of it! haha. Oh sure, I can laugh now....but when she did it, I was mortified. She comes walking from the kitchen into the room that I was sitting in...and as she was walking, I noticed some of her beautiful yellow blond curls were falling to the ground. It didn't register with me as to what was going on until she said that she cut her hair. WHAT?!!! I looked at her and noticed that some of the hair that used to be covering her eyes were gone...but that's all I could really concentrate on because of the shock! I ran into the kitchen to see what and where she did this, and sure enough...there was the pile of curls! I saw how big the pile was so I had to assess the damage that she did to her head. I grabbed the brush and started to brush her messy hair only to see clumps of hair stuck to the brush. OK...a little stunned at this point...I was just praying that it wasn't a huge chunk taken out. Ahhh...ok...so she took the whole front part of her hair down to maybe a half an inch and then she gave herself layers in the back...still leaving the length. THANK GOODNESS! So now it just looks like she has very short bangs or that her hair is brushed and parted off to the side. I am so happy it wasn't like when little Tony cut Taylor's hair when they were little (I should have known that those two would have issues with each other growing up)...and especially when Morgan cut her hair...I swear, that girl thought she was Dora or something!

So off to take care of Gina who is having a hard time breathing (as I type this) and waiting for Kenny to come home from school...I just hope he is feeling alright...I'm waiting for the bomb to drop.

Bad Mommy Award goes to...ME

And the Bad Mommy Award goes to.......ME! I should have saw it coming...Gina's nose started to run a little bit last night but I didn't make anything of it. I was so determined to find this darn white (or cream colored) sweatshirt or long sleeve t-shirt for Kenny. His preschool class is making leaf shirts at school with a family member and he needed one for today. As the days are going by, we have not been able to find any plain white(or cream colored) sweatshirts or long sleeved t-shirts for that matter! Its been so freakin frustrating. Anyhow, yesterday we went to 4 different stores, desperate to find ANYTHING...and still...nothing. Last night I finally concluded that we were just going to use just a plain white t-shirt for him. I mean...he's just a kid, he'll probably only wear it once...maybe two times before he stains it all up. So that was my decision and I was now getting excited about his craft with a loved one day at school. Oh...let me add that I was also going to be bringing Gina to also make a shirt because Tony had a big job he had to get done for this morning.


The plan of action for this morning was to get everyone up and ready for school (easier said than done). I had my share of kids fighting with each other, and then actually yelling at me! uuuurg!!! Yes...that word....or for those English majors...onomatopoeia...is really showing my frustration from the morning from heck!

The camera was already put strategically in my purse last night so I could just whip it out and start the picture taking of Kenny (and Gina) making their shirts. Yeah...well...massive change of plan. During the night, Gina decided that she was going to start coughing. Not just a small cough that lasts for just a short time...oh no...she had to go to the full extent of sounding like she was a barking seal...ALL.NIGHT.LONG! So this morning, she wakes up...fever, cough and runny nose. LOVELY! So now what am I supposed to do? Its like a deja vu from last year when Kenny was to make a Christmas shirt with a loved one..and Gina was sick. The first thing that I thought of was...medicate her with Benadryl, Triaminic, Vicks...anything that would hide her symptoms...but as the morning is going on, I just cant do that. I would feel very guilty if someone from Kenny's class gets really sick from her. Its bad enough that Kenny is already starting to cough. So...the award for the Worst Mommy In The World goes to...ME. I wont be able to go to Kenny's school and be with him, making his shirt. All the other mommies will be there and my poor Kenny will be by himself...or...at least without a "loved one". I am hoping that Kenny forgives me for not being there for him. The guilt I have over this really blows! It just adds to the past few weeks of events.

I think I'm going to make a huge pot of beef stew...its supposed to be a comfort meal...and boy do I need comfort after this one!

Happy Birthday to our Kayleigh...

Happy 6th Birthday to my first c-section baby...Kayleigh! What more can I say...just look at that beautiful face! She has made me smile, laugh, and sometimes even scares me from some of the things she says and does. She is my daredevil and my cuddle buddy, and now she's 6. The scar I have on my belly...well, the one with a little curve to it (yes, I can differentiate between Kayleigh's c-section scar and the twins scar) will always be a reminder to the wanting a natural delivery of a breech baby by my doctor and myself, but having to have a c-section because of hospital procedures...darn those other doctors/nurses in the room who made me feel scared of trying a vaginal breech delivery. I was so up to try it. I had THAT much faith in my OB. Ha ha...I think, as long as I am of child bearing age, he'll always try to get me to have that type of delivery. tee hee.
Anyhow...
I'll be taking cupcakes to her class in a little bit which is always the best. I love seeing the faces brighten when I walk in! Hmmmm....I may just have to bring cupcakes to Tony's class next week for his 14th birthday *wink wink! yeah...he's gonna kill me!
I know this is a very short (but sweet) post, but I've been feeling a little down lately so this is the best I've got (for the time being). So, until tomorrow when I go to Kenny's school and help make fall shirts with them (pictures to follow)....

A tornado ripping through my mind

Hi, I am Michele... a mom who is more than just a mom to many kids...I am also a caregiver to a child that has needs beyond the normal, healthy child. I am also a human being that is tired. The checklist says it all.

This has been a very interesting and emotional start to fall. So far, I've had outpatient surgery...and have been very emotional about that whole thing...I really don't want to get into the specifics about it...just that...getting older sucks and I have a lot of healing...emotionally to do. Kenny had been back and forth to his therapy appts, doc appts, and school...some of which are going great, physical therapy for instance, he is exceeding what I though he'd be doing. He tries everything they give him to do...and follows directions quite well. He love jumping on the trampoline, kicking the soccer ball into the net and standing on a cushion while reaching, catching and throwing things. He needs a little bit more help on his floppy muscle tone in his legs...so he can learn to ride a tricycle...but other than he's doing great. Some other appointments...not so great. He is not gaining...he actually lost some weight. He is starting to not want his backpack on for his tube feeds, so there is some defying that is taking place. Our next step is to find a high chair that can hold a 4 year old for his feeds...yes, we are reverting back to the old ways of when he first got his tube in...he will be sitting for an hour while the feedings take place.

We also have been denied for the 3rd time for his hearing aids. Its been since May that he lost his one hearing aid in his little autism tantrum he had in church, at Sydnie's communion. And just a few weeks ago, he came home from school and went right to playing. I thought he unhooked his hearing aid and threw it in his toys...but nope. The next day when he came home from school on the bus, they handed me an envelope with his hearing aid in it...broken. So yeah...trying to get Medicaid to supply a new set of aids to a child with moderate to severe hearing loss has not been easy. We are getting frustrated and told by his teachers/therapists that he really need them...noooooo kidding!

Also, its cold & flu season, and I am besides myself. I am hoping that this season is gentle on Kenny. He is already starting the coughing and throwing up mucus...which is always pleasant. It is a continuous battle of my thoughts when it comes to this time of year. You know...the thoughts that pop into your head and start swirling around like a tornado that doesn't stop...just gets bigger and bigger and picks up steam until you cant sleep for hours on end...yep...thats what is happening. Thoughts of Kenny getting sick, seizures, him losing weight because he doesn't want to eat for me. The possibilities of losing him. Heck, thoughts of all the babies that I've lost. Thoughts of my living children and their lives...should Tony be going to a Catholic High School (that I really want for him) or a public one. Thoughts of Kenny having to go to a public elementary school around the corner from us...and I wouldn't even send my older kids there because its THAT BAD, yet, I'm going to have to send Kenny there...so then I think that we have to move...and the money thoughts pop up.

See what I mean? Like I said, the thought tornado just sort of builds to an F5 from all the grief, sadness, exhaustion and stress....that destroys the whole sleep, functional and emotional state of me. There is no doubt in my mind that I will get through this. I just have to wonder why. Why is it that you do what is supposed to be the right things in life, and nothing goes right. Nothing. I swear, I have a curse bestowed upon me. Its bad enough that I have dealt with the loss of a child, the loss of multiple pregnancies, a child that takes 100% of my time and energy because of his special/chronic needs, a house that is falling apart in front of my eyes, and now teenagers and their ways. And all the while I try to keep a happy demeanor. Being kind, giving and loving to those around me when honestly, all I want to do is scream, break things and hide under the blankets in my bed and never come out again. I know I cant do that, so praying and hoping that God hears my pleas to give me a better life...or at least the ability to deal with what was given to me will have to do for now.

school pictures and another birthday!

What a morning! Why is it that when you see the words "picture day" on the calendar for school, you think...oh, OK...plenty of time. Just pick an outfit out and there ya go. WRONG! The kids picked their clothes out yesterday an by this morning, all you know what hit the fan! One outfit wasn't good enough...one dress looked too short. Then then shoe issues arose....the dress shoes we just bought Tony for school...for his uniform...too small. Would someone tell these teenagers to just stop growing. Then the younger ones wanted to wear white sandals and dressy flip flops (with stockings). I finally gave up. I told them to wear whatever they wanted to wear, on their feet. I figured the camera only takes the picture from the chest up..so that's what really counts. Wish I could be like those parents who just don't do picture day...well...don't order pictures. But I can't. We have a tradition going and to see the transformation from kindergarten to the present time..it's just something that I really can't pass up...so it's the cheapest picture package deals for all...eek.
It was complete chaos this morning..picture me trying to help put the last minute outfits together, help Taylor with her conservative makeup....very conservative...almost non at all, curling and straightening 5 girls hair...all of which wanted a different style. Making sure they had their backpacks full of homework and school stuff together, trying to find the right stupid pair of shoes for the girls, getting Kenny up and ready for school...while he is screaming at the top of his lungs...I'm sitting thinking to myself....why couldn't I of had all boys. They,d all have short haircuts and not have to worry about hair, makeup and what they look like. I swear, having girls is one of the hardest jobs! But, they finally are all at school, good to go....I even got an I love you from them!
Which brings me to my next thought...it's my Sydnie's 8th birthday today! When she was born, she had a true knot in her cord (so did her sister Kayleigh...we'll talk about that next week for her birthday). I thank God everyday that she came 6 weeks early because if she didn't, she could very well not be here today. A knot in the umbilical cord while the baby is still inside the mommy, is one of the big reasons for babies to die in utero. I remember the doctor being in awe of the knot...yes, I have a picture of it...haha. She was one of my healthiest born babies and i just love my little big eyed, blond City Chicken, Beverly D'angelo (her nicknames) look alike! She is such a blessing to us...I know being the middle child of this crazy family, she sometimes gets lost in the crowd, but she always shines through, making our lives that much complete! She makes us laugh all the time with her funny little things she says and does...her sense of humor....holy smokes...you can pull a joke or say something to her and she just laughs and laughs! She is very smart...using all sorts of words that I would never think a little girl her age would use...her new favorite is "awesome"...so Sydnie, have an Awesome birthday my little miracle.
Her request for today was to have chocolate pie...so that is what she is getting!

Thoughts about our kids...

I'm changing it up a little with this post. I've been up, unable to sleep, these darn mosquito bites on my legs and feet are itching to the point of wanting to scratch them till they bleed, and then pour alcohol on them...yes, they itch THAT bad! Anyhow, Ive been thinking about all my kids and how we've shaped and moulded them into who they are today, and who they'll be in the future. Since there is no handbook as to how to raise a child (let alone, 7), it's all just a "hold you're breath and do you're best" job.
Why is it that some young teens act older than they are? Is it a bad thing? Is it alright to let a 13 year old swear or a 12 year old to wear makeup? I guess everyone has their own opinions and ideas about this, which is fine...I mean, this is why people are different...the variety of life I guess. It's called, letting your child find himself. It like getting your child into a sport, music or something else. But what happens when you're child doesn't have a certain one (or many) things he/she is good at? What happens when the social skills are slightly off and your child has never been able to find a niche where he/she belongs? Some kids are blessed with the ability to have tons of friend, even a few best friends...sleepovers, phone convos til they don't have anything else to talk about but stay on the phone just because. Some are great in a sport, music...whatever. Parents pour hundreds, sometimes even thousands of dollars into lessons...and some just can't...or the child just doesn't want to. Does that affect their future? Does it affect who they will or could be in the future?

What happens to the preteen and teenager who tries so hard to have friends, that it's seems like they try too hard. And when they think they finally have someone that they can connect with...something bad happens..a fight, a misunderstanding...something.
What happens to these kids when a mom or dad can't help them? A parent of an older child can't very well make play dates like we used to do in kindergarten...we can't really talk to anyone (the other kids parent, teacher) because then our kid gets looked down upon and made fun of. What then?
When you sit and wonder what your child is all about, can you really do it? Does your child have their niche in life? Confident? They are their own person? Something to be proud of? I know we have done the best we could do...but honestly, I'm pretty scared. I pray that I/we gave them enough in their childhood to shape and mould them into their own self...confident...with a sense of dignity and respect for themselves and others. I pray that just because we didn't have lots of money for lessons for this and that, that it our children will still find their "thing" in life. I mean, my hubby and I were artists...I started drawing when I was just 5...I knew what I was all about. I am holding my breath, hugging my kids (even though some days are tough with their attitudes lately) and always telling them that I love them and are proud of them.
Gotta love these teenage years.

...10 years later

Where was I ten years ago...that seems to be the typical blog posts for today...so I guess I'm jumping on the bandwagon here...

I remember that morning like it was yesterday. I was sitting on my couch feeding Morgan (she was just a baby) and talking to my twin on the phone. It was a typical morning in our house...come to think of it, it was also a nice and quiet morning. Looking back, having only 3 kids...no thought of anything bad that was about to transpire. It's so weird to think of how simple life was before that moment the first plane...no...the moment the second plane hit the second tower. I say that, because when we heard that a plane hit the first tower, we all though (well, hoped) that it was a fluke...a plane that had an accident. As we were watching the news the thought crossed our minds that maybe it wasn't a fluke, maybe it was terrorist...but no...we just couldn't fathom the idea that all those people were trapped from the 80th-something floors on up. I kept wondering how they were going to save those people...there was no way. All those people...then the thought of the people from the plane....gone...what were they thinking...feeling.

Then...as we were watching the morning news, as the cameras were pointing up on the twin towers....you can see a big second plane coming into view...OH NO...I screamed. Then BAM. we witnessed the second plane hitting the second tower. It was like watching a make believe movie on TV...but it was so real. At that point, we all knew. We knew we, America, was under attack. Then the reports came in that the pentagon got hit...Was it world war 3?

I was calling my mom/dad & sisters crying...wondering what would be hit next. Then word came that there was a hijacked plane that flew over Cleveland....OMG...thats right over us! I called my sister, who lives in PA and told her to be careful because the plane was heading towards PA. What was next? I remember trying to keep calm in the mist of everything going on because of the kids, but it didn't really work. I remember the news reports of one thing after another...then they showed the airways of the united states....not a single plane was in the air....this way, they could see what plane(s) were being hijacked. I remember being afraid to go outside...but Tony and I did. I looked up in the sky and there was silence. Not a plane in sight...and we live not to far from the airport. What was happening? What was going to be next? Then...watching the towers burn on TV and noticing that the smoke billowing out of the top floors looked different then before...I told Tony that I thought the building was going to collapse...minutes later, before my eyes, the first tower started to fall. All those people, all those innocent people. People that went to work that day not knowing that that was the last day of their lives. All those emergency workers, police officers, port authority, women who were mothers, wives, sisters daughters...men who were fathers, husbands, brothers, sons....what if there were pregnant women killed? what about those that were planning their weddings? What about those that had to take care of a special needs child? Gone just like that. It was the longest day in my life. I was upset about all those people on the planes that were traveling without a thought....the evil that took over those planes had no thought about human life. They were pure evil. To take over the planes the way they did...all those innocent people...and God know what they all went through on those plane rides to their demise. Those people that were in their offices at the pentagon and the towers...when those planes hit...what He** they went through either trying to escape or being trapped...and then finally...the heroes on flight 93 that went down in PA...wow.
My/our lives has drastically changed from this horrific day ten years ago. Since then, we've had 5 more kids, I became a stay at home mom, lost a child, and now raising a child with many special and chronic needs. I have come to appreciate life and understand that life is short. I respect and thank often police officers, firefighters and anyone who is or has served in the military.
Life has moved on and has gotten more complex but more complete since that day. America has changed. I notice that there is more point and blame and a lot less God. Which to me is not what our founders of this nation or the victim of 9-11 wanted or ever thought would be possible. If we allow our nation to be split into groups and have no mention of God...any God...we are letting "them" win. Our country was based on diversity of cultures and ideas...but our basis for everything was/should still be...God.
I want our kids to grow up in a great nation...not one of conflict, fright or hate.
GOD BLESS AMERICA
And no...I have not been on a plane since then...

My niece is married...oh what a party it was!

Nothing better than a long weekend wedding with a huge family! Yep, my niece got married to the love of her life on August 12th. I cant believe that not to long ago, we were taking her to go see The Little Mermaid at the theater and making her communion headpiece...and now, I had the honor or making her bridal headpiece. She is all grown up, beautiful and married! After a year of planning, everything fell into place and was simply beautiful! My twin sister and her family came in. My parents, who came in from Arizona...and whom I haven't seen in 4 very long years, looked the best they've looked in years (who would think they are both in their 70's...try late 50's!!!) Gosh I really missed my parents, sister & her family and my uncle and cousins!

My sister & her husband (parents of the bride) looks AMAZING! Her dress was stunning and brought me back to when I was little and she was going to prom...or was it homecoming...well, whichever it was...the color she picked out for her dress was perfect for her! They were radiating happiness!

Kenny and Gina were the Flower Girl and Ring Bearer. How did they do? ummm..well...pretty good for having stage fright! They did fine at the rehearsal, but when they saw all the people sitting on both sides of the isle...they both wanted to hold my hand and wouldn't walk down the isle without me.But they did walk down! tee hee

My niece looked like a beautiful princess walking down the isle. Yeah...I have to admit that I had flashbacks of when she was little, and it brought a few tears to my eyes. OK...OK...I cried like a big baby when I saw her in the back room of the church...with her veil and gown on...I mean....I just make her communion veil a few years back...and now she is all grown up and getting married! Where does the time go? I'll tell you one thing...our family knows how to party through the weekend! My uncle and cousins whom I haven't seen in...oh gosh...15+ years came and it was like we never missed a beat! There was tons of dancing by all...my parents (who are in their 70's) were dancing up a storm much of the night!

The cake was beautiful...Tony and I walked the kids onto the dance floor when they announced the bridal party...Look at my handsome guy...The father/daughter dance again...brought tears to our eyes. My husband even got choked up during this...It was because he

It was so nice to just get away from the every day life we live. One thing that I didn't care for was all the packing of all the medical equipment/medicines, etc...that we had to bring. I didn't realize how much stuff we actually use for Kenny. And also the consumption of time that Kenny takes up. I barely had a chance to talk to family because I was so busy running around after him.

The only thing I wish I would have done was taken a family picture of all my kids and husband. We all, believe it or not, cleaned up pretty well that night! tee hee.

What a great weekend! I am so blessed to have an amazing and large family!

I finally did it!

I created a logo for one of my dream ideas....what I've had a passion for...making I beat the odds t-shirts for micro-preemies, preemies and kids with chronic illnesses! Please visit and "like" my Facebook page by clicking HERE.

My Milestones for Micros is about making memories and showing off what you have been through, through custom free t-shirts. They are free to anyone that has a micro preemie, preemie or special needs child.

I started this mission when my surviving twin son turned one. I thought to myself...he had beaten the odds at being born at 23 weeks gestation...a whole 17 weeks early and I wanted the world to know just THAT! I made his shirt he wore on his birthday....and it as been a tradition in our house ever since...a milestones for micros t-shirt for each birthday. He is 4 now, and since then, I have made ...several of these for families of micro preemies. I am hoping to one day get big enough to take them to the NICU in our area (and all over the U.S. and elsewhere) and give them as a going home gift to all babies born early or who have beat the odds in one way or another. I cant do this without your help...so please spread the word and lets get Milestones For Micros off the ground! The shirts are free...I will not be charging anything (including shipping) to have a shirt made...but I do welcome donations of any size, just to pay forward for the next shirt given away to a child (to cover the cost of ink, shirts and shipping). So this is coming from me personally...I am funding this for my dream of making my fellow preemie families and families with special and chronic needs happy...to put a smile on faces during a very stressful time.

I will need your name, address, color scheme of type and if there is a special graphics you want added please let me know. Please e-mail me at: mtomecko@yahoo.com
This is a free service that I donate to all kids that were born early or have a chronic condition...but a donation is very welcomed.

The Mission of Milestones For Micros is to give families with preemies, micro preemie & kids with a chronic condition, something to be proud of...Beating the odds of survival! We will be making and proudly distributing t-shirts with the child's stats when they were born and also for each milestone birthday they are celebrating!

So please help me out with my dream of helping others...please Like my Facebook page and pass the word around that I am doing this! Thank you very much!