Monday, May 30, 2011

I have to do what?!

Hmmmm...where should I begin. Ah. I guess I'll start from the beginning.

It has been 7 months since it was one told me that it had to.

All those hospital stays and doctor appts with me asking about it, and they all fluffed it off like it was no big deal.

This last doctor visit, I mentioned it to his doctor. He said that it was rather easy to do at home...but if I felt more comfortable, I could bring the replacement Mic-key button and they could show me how...its not like they didn't show me how when he first had it put in. I figured, why wait when I can do it at home. I can do it, I can do it (famous last words). I looked at Tony and asked him to help me through this. Yes, the guy that wont get any blood work done because he doesn't like needles, but also the guy that has seen the insides of my stomach from a peek over the curtain from my c-sections.
I gathered my courage...took the syringe and sucked out all the saline from the balloon holding the tube in...and tried to pull the tube out. was stuck. I didn't want to pull too hard, I might break something! ACK! Oh this is so disgusting, I thought to myself...oh wait...I clearly remember me yelling this out loud with Tony holding Kenny as a just-in-case! Noooope...couldn't pull it out. My hands were clammy, my stomach churning a little...I can do most, but to pull out that is sticking in my sons way! So, the saline was put right back in the hole to refill the balloon! I'll save it for the doctors to a later date!

as the day was going on, I kept looking at the g-tube that was sticking out of my sons stomach. It was discolored and old looking. Thinking to myself, "that cant be good for him to have in for so long...what happens if it causes an infection...and all because 1) I didn't know it had to be replaced every 3 months...and 2) I didn't have the guts to replace it myself." What kind of mom am I? I couldn't take it anymore. Between making dinner and cleaning up the house after two toddlers, one of which has my dining room chairs lined up, all my canned goods grouped and lined up in various strategically placed areas of my house (steps, living room, dining room, on the deck outside, on the lined up dining room chairs...) and the toy that...toy (clothes) baskets dumped in the living and dining rooms, I decided to get a set of...well...something girls don't have...and change it! I put on my medical gloves and took a deep breath. Took Kenny's shirt off and syringed the saline out (like before). I comes the hard part...I looked in Kenny's eyes, he was looking at me so trusting. I told him that I loved him and that I would never hurt him and then I did it. I pulled it out. IT WAS SO GROSS! there...I said it! I wont lie. haha. It was coated in brownish yellowish gunk and then...there was the hole in my sons stomach! uuuuugh. What was I doing? OK, time to be thinking...just do it! I got the new tube out of the package and inserted it into the hole...I didn't realize how bit the hole was, its the diameter of a pencil eraser! So I inserted the "peg into the hole" that's what it felt like to me...and filled the balloon up with the saline.

And that was it! I did it, I actually did it! Kenny was the greatest. He just laid there and let me do what I had to do. I am so very proud of my son! Heck, I'm pretty proud of myself! From almost a year ago when I was so afraid of this whole g-tube this, switching his g-tube...I know its not that big of a deal for those of you who have kids with g-tubes, but for me, it is an accomplishment.
I have overcome my fear of this whole g-tube thing!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

WAY TO GO! I know you dont know me, but I check on you and your family from time to time. I understand how scared it can be to change this, but soon it will come as easy as putting on your socks. I am also proud of Kenny, he handled it wonderful.
Wendy Sullivan