Happy 15th Birthday to my oldest!

Fifteen years ago today,
my life was changed in an incredible, amazing way.
I spent 5 weeks in the hospital on bed rest. My water broke at 29 weeks and my doctor was determined to keep you in for as long as possible.
5 weeks...
5 weeks of not walking into our home.
5 weeks of not being able to go to work.
5 weeks of not knowing if you were going to be born to early for us to enjoy our first born child, in a way that every first time parent experiences.

I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant for the very first time!
I painted your room with love and care.
I had dreams of what you were going to be...yes, I knew you were going to be a boy, even though we didn't find out on the ultrasound...I just knew.
I had such a connection with you from day one.

When that day came, when my water broke.
I was so scared but honestly didn't have a clue what was happening.
I didn't know too much about pregnancy...you were my first.
When the doctor told me I was on bed rest at the hospital for the remainder of the pregnancy I didn't know what to think.
I followed their instructions. Only to get up to use the bathroom.
Monitored several times a day...everyday
ultrasounds several times a day....everyday, to make sure the fluid around you was sufficient enough to keep you safe.

I remember the one ultrasound that did me in.
I was looking at the screen, and the doctor showed me the one area of fluid
she told me that this is what is keeping you safe. Just that one spot...so small.
Then, when they saw that you weren't growing any more,
they decided that it was time...
time to where you were not safe in my belly anymore
they could take care of you in the NICU

The pain of labor was not what I expected.
it was really hard and very painful, but thanks to modern medicine...I really was OK.
I remember daddy so very excited, telling me that you were a boy.
Then them working on you to get you to breathe a little better.
You were tiny...all 4 pounds 8 ounces of you
but you were here, and you were healthy.
You were perfect!

I remember seeing your little round head
your squinty little eyes
your perfectly arched eyebrows...which you still have.
Your little nose, I knew right away that you had that Kowalczyk nose.
and a leg that bent over your body because that's how you were inside of me.

Happy Birthday Tony

You were born today, 15 years ago
You changed me from just being Michele, to being a mommy.
You showed me what unconditional love was all about.
You make me smile every day with the funny things you say.
When you started talking and naming all the Indians Players names off when you were only 10 months old, I knew you were something really special.

You have grown up to a wonderful 15 year old...minus the talking back
but I hear that is all to common :)
You have made dad and I very proud of you. With all that you have done these last 15 years.
All your firsts.

You are a great kid...you all are great kids.

Your sisters and brother look up to you.

You are a big brother...a big job for a 15 year old.

You lead the way to which your sisters and brother follow...

but I know you can handle it. You are a great kid.

I am so very, very proud of you...my first born son.

Thank you very much for being in my life.
I thank God for you every day.
I pray he watches over you for the rest of your life.
To show you right from wrong
To keep you safe from harm
and to just make you happy with you being you.

So, again...Happy Birthday Tony
We love you with our hearts and soul!
Thank you for making the last 15 years amazing...a little crazy, but amazing!
Please be gentle on us these next 15...we're begging you. tee hee

I love you