The stressful life of an older micro preemie

The mornings go something like this....
Wake up at 5 am to enjoy a little bit of me/quiet time. Wake the kids up for school....wake them up again...and finally one more time did the trick! I make sure the kids put their clothes, socks, shoes, backpacks with all homework in it, and anything else they need, out the night before. This usually means that I am running around like a crazy mom trying to find one thing or another in the mornings. They are finally up...all 6 kids, that is everyone is up except for Kenny whom I try to let sleep as long as possible because I know when he gets up, the morning...the tranquil for the most part morning will be totally interrupted.
uh-oh...he's up! Darn...this is waaaay to early for him to get up! I have to iron some pants and a shirt or two, look for Kayleighs missing school shoe, break up an argument between sydnie and Morgan, sign a few papers that were given to me last minute...because my kids just...well...forgot to give them to me.
ok, all is ok...he's got his bottle of pediasure and his "taggies" which are the pajamas with the snap over flap covering the zipper...yes, he's the only kid I know that has always loved this taggies! I have to make sure he has his clothes out for preschool, especially his shoes. Oh the shoes...his biggest obsession! He HAS to have them on as soon as he wakes up in the morning or he flips out. It has since gotten much worse of an obsession as to now he is obsessed with making sure I have my shoes on and Gina has her shoes on. When I tell him no, all he** breaks loose! The quiet setting has turned into the worst stress scene you've ever seen! The screaming at the top of his lungs...and it's a high pitched scream...followed by the occasional head banging, removal of his shoes (which are then thrown), his socks go next and finally his shirt and pants! He has tried to remove his diaper but I've caught him before that point. If he'd of had his hearing aids in, those would be taken apart and thrown all over the house where we'd have to search for them for hours!
These breakdowns just don't happen here at home in the mornings...Nope, they happen all day long here, it happens at the grocery store, church, basketball games, restaurants, etc...they have made me/us a prisoner of my own home! I though RSV season was bad...this is by far the worse thing I've had to deal with. We've tried time outs on the couch, a smack on the hand, ignoring and several other discipline ideas...the thing is, he knows some things, but still developmentally delayed as to not understanding everything.
I am lost, down and extremely discouraged about this...and it's just getting worse! I've put calls onto his neurologist, his comprehensive care docs, and also his autism worker that is working with us with the P.L.A.Y. Project...I'm just feeling broken right now. I guess this is what the doctors have warned me about...and I never thought he'd be like this. I feel so bad because I'm trying to do the right thing but I don't know what it is. His OCD had gotten so bad and I'm scared.
Are there any other mom/dads/guardians out there that have had an older micro preemie going through this PLEASE help me. My heart hurts for him, my stress level is well beyond my limit and I just need encouragement that this is fixable.