Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Kenny and Nicks Birth story

This is for everyone that doesn't know the whole birth story.
FROM THE BEGINNING...
December 2006 we found out we were expecting...I started bleeding on Christmas Eve and by New Years Day, I thought I miscarried. I called my doctor and asked if I could come in for an ultrasound to make sure the miscarriage was over...so that is what we did. The next day, we went in...I prepared myself for seeing an empty uterus...since I've been through this before. When she put the ultrasound to my stomach, there were 2 sacks! She told us that there were 2 in there and the both looked great!






We were shocked, scared, happy...all in one! Our family of 5 kids was going to expand to 7 kids! GAH!!!! The pregnancy was quite rough since I have had all my babies 6 weeks early, due to a bicornuate uterus, my doctor from the get go was not to happy that I was pregnant with twins. He was very worried that I would miscarry them or have them way too early. He prepared me the best he could for what to expect. Around 16 weeks, I started bleeding...bad. I thought...this is it. I am having the late miscarriage that he was talking about. Turns out, there was a hemorrhage behind baby A's placenta. I was put on bed rest and told me that it would probably correct itself, since they didn't see any other bleeds on the ultrasound. We got very attached to these little guys right off the bat. They were our little miracles! To feel 2 babies move inside of me was so awesome. It was indescribable. Nick (baby A) was on my left and Kenny (baby b) was on my right. I prayed to God every night, that he would bless me with both of them making it through this pregnancy and born healthy. I talked to my boys every day and night...I told them to stay put, that mommy wanted both of them to come home and grow old with our family! When I went in for my 21 week appt. I mentioned to my doc that I was more uncomfortable and "wet". He checked me, sent me for an ultrasound and told me that I was in the hospital for the remainder of the pregnancy. My world was falling apart. How was I to be in the hospital for months when I have 5 little ones at home? So there I stayed... basically head lower than my feet for 2 weeks. I was monitored every day. There, they told me that Kenny (baby b) was now Baby A. He was breech with his feet down by my cervix. By the end of my short hospital stay, I started to feel like I was in labor...no contractions but I've been through this 5 times and 2 miscarriages, I think I know what beginning labor feels like. I couldn't stop crying, I was crampy and I had tons of...sorry TMI...discharge. I was given medicine to help me sleep and relax, but I knew what was happening. I was in labor at 23 weeks. The night before I had the twins, the nurses in the antepartum ward knew that I was extremely upset about what was happening, so they called a doctor from the NICU to come in and talk to me about what to expect. Scared the living daylights out of me! Because I was pregnant with twin boys was a negative...girls tend to do better than boys. Singletons do better than twins. If I could keep them in a little longer, that would be good...23 weekers only have a 17% chance of survival. All the problems, "what ifs", statistics and reality was just too much for me. I just cried and cried and prayed. I have never felt so alone in all my life. I spent that night just feeling my boys move inside of me and talking to them. Not knowing that that was the last night that they would be part of me, inside of me...I was protecting them, doing what a mommy was supposed to do. The next morning, May 2, my doctor came in and asked me how I felt. I told him that i honestly felt like I was in labor. I called my husband, Tony to please come be with me because I just wasn't feeling right. With my husband by my side, my doctor checked me...called for the portable ultrasound machine and told me me that Kenny's feet were in the birth canal and I was already dilated to 4. There was no turning back...He was going to perform a c-section right away. He kept telling me that he was sorry...when a doctor apologies, you know it's not good. I was able to call my mom and dad to tell them that the babies were coming, so they made all the other calls to my sisters (including my twin). At 10:29 Kenny was born and at 10:30, Nick. They both weighed 1 lb, 7 oz and were just under 12" long.


I was able to see Kenny, but they took Nick right away. I couldn't get over how small they were. I didn't get a chance to see them afterwards because I was in recovery. My oldest sister, husband and best friend were there. I was just kinda numb. I couldn't believe that they were out of me. I couldn't protect them anymore, I couldn't feel them move inside of me, talk to them to tell them that it would be alright. My twin sister did an amazing thing. She is living down in Alabama with her family. She didn't know what to do, so she called my church and asked for the priest to go and baptize the boys. So my priest was also in recovery with us...ready to baptize them and be there for me if I wanted to talk. My husband, sister, friend and priest all went to the nicu and baptised them. Those first 2 days after they were born, were really a blur. I had my daughter's communion that I was making her a headpiece for, while I was still in the hospital. I was getting flowers, cards and calls of congratulations...yet, I couldn't get too excited.

On May 4th, My sister-in-law and niece came to visit and to see my twins. I noticed that Nick didn't look real good, and made a comment to the nurse to keep an eye on him. We just got back to my room, when the nurse came to tell me that Nick was having some problems. I started crying. They called my husband for me and I called my parents to tell them that Nick was not doing good, and to please say prayers for him. As Tony and I sat in the NICU watching the doctors and nurses work frantically on Nick, I felt sick...physically sick. How can this be happening to us. My beautiful baby is dying and there was nothing we could do! The gave him several blood transfusions to try to stop the bleeding in his lungs. It wasn't working. They then brought the ultrasound machine in to check to see if he was bleeding in his brain....he was...grade 4....there was nothing more they could do. They worked on him for 4 hours before telling us that he wasn't going to make it. At that point, I got to hold my baby, really hold him. I didnt want to forget how he smelled, looked or felt. He was so tiny, yet so perfect. My in-laws got to the hospital in time to hold their grandson, before he passed. I wished my family could have met him. He was so beautiful. But they were all over the country. My parents live in Arizona, sisters in Alabama, Pennsylvania and so on...Anyhow, They were there with me in spirit. As I was holding Nick, I just kept telling him that he was going to be with Uncle John, my brother who passed away 20 years ago at the age of 24. I know know why he died...He died, so he can be waiting in heaven for Nick, his nephew. I have to keep telling myself that they are together or I'd really lose hope. Well, he passed away about an hour after I told them to take his vent tubes out. The nurses took tons of pictures of Nick and then of Nick and Kenny. I will always cherish those pictures and the staff of the NICU. My father in law was holding him when he died. It was the worst day of my life. I thought having a miscarriage was bad. Nope, this was, by far, the worst pain anyone could ever feel.

I have a video that I put together...

Here it is, please watch...




My Twin Pregnancy from michele tomecko on Vimeo.


Kenny was in the NICU for 129 days. He had surgery to close a valve on his heart, several blood and platelet transfusions, Collapsed lungs...seamed like every other week, about 3 really bad infections, in which we almost lost him. ROP in both eyes which required him to have laser surgery. A PICC line put in, but that became infected. He was on the ventilator for 3 and a half months and about that long on a feeding tube. He has severe BPD (bronchial Pulmonary Dysplasia) which he will probably have problems with lung issues for a very, very long time.



He also failed the hearing tests in both his ears. I thank God for him every day. He could have easily died, But with the help from the hospital (MetroHealth), the doctors, the Nurses especially and his twin guardian angel and God, He is here today! Kenny is now a growing, thriving little boy. He is still having major lung problems, hearing problems, in which he is getting hearing aids for, muscle tone problems, and developmental delays...he is just starting to crawl on his hands and knees...but other than that...he is perfect in every way! He is on oxygen (at night) but that is to give his little heart and lungs a rest. Every day is a new adventure with Kenny. He has been hospitalized several times because of his lungs and getting sick...when he gets sick, you can almost bet that he is going to be in the hospital. Feeding him is another problem, because of his gag reflex from the vent tube being in for so long, he doesn't want to eat...only drink his bottle. We finally got him on stage 2 baby food, but it is still a very rough ride...trying to get him to eat that even. So that is the story of my Kenny and Nick...two perfect babies of which one came home to us, and one went home to Jesus.


39 comments:

Shannon said...

Hi there.
I am in the preemie mom groups with you and seen you were new to the group. I wanted to read about your story and visit your blog.
Let me tell you, 1. I'm crying, 2. I've went in and peeked in on my son sleeping. Your story was very well written for others to learn about your twin boys. I enjoyed reading and learning about them, watching the heartbreaking video..
I'm here if you need a friend.
Oh and that last song playing on the video about my son what song is that? very touching.

Sammie said...

Your little boys are beautiful!
I am the mom of a surviving preemie twin as well. Many prayers for you and your family!

www.n8andnoah.com

Jennifer said...

I have a very similar birth story as you with your twin boys. I have a bicornuate uterus, Baby A slipped into the birth canal feet first and we lost Brady after almost 2 days due to poor lungs. Just wanted to say Hi and tell you that I related perfectly with your story. (((Hugs)))

Michele said...

Shannon, Thank you very much for the heartfelt welcome. My husband, after knowing him for 19 years, comes and tells me that he cant get over how I write...I just write how I talk and what I am feeling, that's all. I made the video the few months following Nicks passing...It was something that I felt I HAD to do. I told my husband that there was a reason why I took a picture of my belly every week when I was pregnant with them. That last long on the video is...Mark Schultz - He's My Son. I fell in love with that song when I heard it...and just knew that I HAD to use it!!! It was PERFECT!
Anyhow, Thanks again...and yes, I would love to keep in contact with you...I can use all the friends I can to get through what life has been handed me.

Michele said...

Sammy,
Thank you very much. Its a rough thing to have to go through life knowing that we only have the one twin, but...we have to remember that our angel baby twins are looking over their twin and is helping them through life...at least that is how I have to look at it. I miss my Nick terribly, but am very thankful that God let me have my Kenny. God blessed you too. We are strong moms!

Michele said...

Jennifer, I cant get over how similar our pregnancy/birth stories are!!! CRAZY WEIRD!!!! I love reading your blog because I feel like I have so much in common with you! Hang in there! God bless you my friend.
Michele

Kristine said...

Hi Michele,

I wanted to commend you on your remarkable family! You really seem to have it all together! I can only imagine that you must be such an inspiration to you Children and your Family, in the face of such sadness, you have continued to maintain a loving household! Good for you!

Basti said...

I was very touched with your story, I can imagine how painful it was for your and your family.
I guess God said, Michele, let me take care of little Nicky for you so he wouldn't have to suffer more, you take care of Kenny...
I'm sure he is in a much better place wearing a crown in heaven watching over Kenny.
You and your family are in my prayers.

Michele said...

Kristine,
Thank you for the nice compliment that you gave me. I do have some very bad days, and sometimes my kids drive me nuts, but without them and my hubby, I'd be lost. They keep me going...and going...and going! LOL!

Michele said...

Basti,
Thank you. I only pray to God every night that Nicky is looking down on us all. I am very grateful to God that he let me tell Nick how much I loved him and how much I was going to miss him...for the rest of my life. I have to know that he is Kenny's guardian angel...he has to be.

""rare*jonRez"" said...

hi there!
it is my first time here and this post is absolutely heartbreaking to me. i haven't controlled my eyes from tears, i'm so sorry for u dear. but life is grand, and there will always be a better way for each of us. your little boy keeps on growing and i wish him well all the time! :)

Andrea Singer said...

Tears are dripping down my cheeks as I write this. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I have a 10 month old son and know there would be nothing worse than losing him. My cousin lost a baby boy at 26 weeks in October 2007 and went into pre-term labor with her second pregnancy a year later, but thankfully they were able to stop it and her daughter was born at 39 weeks and healthy on New Years Eve 2008. Nothing will ever take away the pain of losing their first born but I'm so glad she's getting to experience the joyful part of parenthood. Her son will always be their family's angel. I know Nick is that way for you -- and especially for Kenny. What a miracle that he survived, he is a blessing from God!

momgen said...

Sorry that you lost one of your twins but good the other one is doing good. TC

Julie said...

Hi there!

Because your such a good blogger and for being a visitor and reader to my blog I am awarding you with the friendship award!

You can come pick it up at my blog.

Happy blogging and thanks again for visiting!

Keep up the good work!

God Bless~

Julie :)

Tim said...

Michele,

I have spent the last hour reading your blog. I have been here before but never knew of the story of your boys.

I will have Kenny in my prayers, and will lift him up that God heal his little body so that he can live a perfectly healthy life.

I believe all things happen for a reason. Please make sure you visit Fort Thompson and read the Monthly Miracles feature. You will see stories there of other families that have been through circumstances not so different than your own. There is a post up now, and I hope you wont miss it.

I have become a follower of your blog so i hope you dont mind.

Love and Prayers for your Family Always,

Tim

Tiffany Aller said...

I found your blog through EntreCard and have spent awhile here looking around...and the story of your twins just breaks my heart. I'm sitting here looking at my 5 month old, knowing how heartbreaking it was to suffer several losses before she came into my life, and just crying my eyes out over the thought of losing her. Thank you for having the courage to share this and God bless you and your family.

Rita T. said...

This is sad and inspiring at the same time. I had a preemie baby but he wasn't nearly as small as yours. I was fortunate. Thanks for sharing your story.

Cindy DG said...

Thank you for sharing your story, it was very touching.
Dropping in to say hi from "blog around the world" I found your site there.
Cindy
Http://vegetarianmamma.blogspot.com

Duni said...

Hi Michele,
what an amazing (if heart-breaking) story. You have a wonderful, loving family.

blessings,

Duni

ps - thank you so much for becoming one of my 'bloggy friends'

Andrea Singer said...

I just signed your petition, I will pray that works out for you!!!! Thank you very much for your nice comment on my blog!

Michelle said...

Your story has brought me to tears. Thanks for sharing. I'm sure it was tough to write this. Sounds like your little guy is a fighter. What a blessing you have. I'll keep him in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.

Jennifer said...

Michelle- I knew our twin pregnancies were very similar but I didn't know how much till I read your story! I can't believe your little man was feet downin the canal too! Unbelievable! So glad we know eachother! A friend told me yesterday that evven though our children may be diabled, it is how God can shine the brightest. Something to cling to for sure!

Marilynne said...

You did everything you could to keep your babies. Now you've got to take care of the survivor. I'll pray for you.

streetsmart said...

hi! saw this site while blog hopping!

i was so touched by your story. you write very well, readers can really feel the emotions from the story. your story made me think of my siblings and my family. many more prayers for you and your lovely family.

BIO said...

I have twin brothers for siblings and I adored them when they were toddlers -- double the delight, I guess. They are identical ones, by the way. When I came home one day from school to find out that they were taken to my grandmother's house for a long vacation, I literally cried. Anyway, yours is a heartbreaking story but God's plans are divine as He is divine.

Michele said...

To all, Thank you for all the very kind words. I just want everyone to know that I appreciate you stopping by and reading my blog and leaving me beautiful, encouraging comments. I don't want this blog to be a "Debbie downer" blog, but I am sharing my life with everyone...in real form...it's not all roses with a micro preemie, loss of a baby and tons of kids...but, on the other hand, these life experiences are teaching me many many things and feel feelings and emotions that not many people get to feel...I should be grateful for every moment I have and with everything that happens. Again, thank you all so very much for your kind comments.
Keep reading...you wont get bored! LOL!!!
All my love,
Michele

Race said...

that was a beautiful story that can only be told by a mother, glad to know that kenny is ok! God will guide and protect him, thanks for sharing!

Julia said...

Your post breaks my heart but I am wishing you all the best. You have been through quite an ordeal. I can't even begin to understand it all. I hope your little guys lungs get better and he continues to get stronger. :)

Anonymous said...

HI I, HAVE TWINS BORN AT 25 WEEKS AND WERE 2.1LBS AND 1.7LBS AND GOD BLESS YOU FOR WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH, I AM CRYING WHY I READ YOUR STORY. IT BROUGHT BACK ALL THE MEMORYS OF WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH. I PRAY EVERY DAY FOR PARENTS GOING THROUGH WHAT WE HAVE ENDURED. MY SON HAD A BRAIN BLEED GRADE 4 AND IS DOING SO WELL IM JUST WRITING YOU BECAUCE THERE IS HOPE MY TWINS ARE 3 YEARS AND ARE DOING FINE. HANG IN THERE GOD LOVES YOU LOVE CHRIS

Anonymous said...

Hi there,

U have a beautiful little boy today, wishing kenny all the good things in life...!!!
I am 22 weeks pregnant, and your story has set me thinking.
I want your prayers, for my baby so that everything goes fine.

A Mom's Choice said...

So sorry for your loss. Hearing your struggles was simply gut wrenching. Its very sad to hear about your sweet baby. Sending you many prayers and well wishes for your family.

God Bless You All

Chelsea belle said...

I saw that your boys were born on May 2nd. I have a twin sister and we were born on may 2nd, 1988. We were 2 months premature. My twin sister has a mild case of cerebral palsy. Most likely cause by early birth. Your story really touched my heart. About 10 years ago my mom got pregnant with my little brother. She made it to 5 months before she found out that his ureter was blocked and his lungs hadn't devolped and he wouldn't make it no matter how long she waited to have him. She gave birth at 5 months. He was still born. I was 11 then. It's still hard for me at 21 to really understand why these things happen. I pray for your son, and I wish you all the luck in the world.
~Chelsea~

brenda said...

I also have twin which were born at 24 weeks .which are still in the nicu.my boy also has a grade 3 head bleed which he was born with a grade 4 head bleed.they were born 01/05/2010 they weight 1lb 5oz.i would like to say keep your head up.cause nick is watching.

Anonymous said...

wow this was very hard to watch im so sorry for your loss i lost my daughter but i couldn't even image havving to and have to worry if the other one would die any day omg that must have been so hard when i read other peoples story the pain i felt after i lost my daughter comes back the helplessness and pain there no other pain like it im really sorry even tho it maybe have been a year or 2 ago it still with u everyday of ur life i know because my daughter is still with me and i can still live it as if it were just yesterday

Anonymous said...

very moving story, sorry about little nick but am so happy kenny made it and appears to be doing well. I know this blog is well over a year old and i dont even know if u will see this comment :) I found your link while searching for info on late micarriages (I had a MC in nov 2010) hope kenny and the rest of your family is still doing great. thank you for sharing your story :), with love, Sheena

Michele said...

Sheena,
Thank you for the nice comment. I am so very sorry about your loss...I hope you are alright...I know how hard this must be on you. I write on my blog almost every day...just because it is very theraputic. Kenny has had his share of problems. He is 3.5 now and has bilateral hearing loss, chronic lung disease, is developmentally delayed, he's non-verbal(doesnt talk yet), feeding issues (he had a feeding tube placed this past Aug.), mild cerebal palsy, mild autism, and epilepsy. Every day is about meds and struggles but to see him smile and walk (when they said he wouldnt) is sooo amazing. You can follow us on the blog if you want...or just read and catch up on whats been going on...I do have some poems that I wrote on here too. Thank you very much for caring...again, I am so sorry for your loss.

Jeremiah's Mama said...

Hey
I cried watching your video and reading about Kenny and Nick's story. While my son wasn't a premie, he suffered a grade 3 bleed at birth and developed hydrocephalus and periventricular leukomalacia as result.
He is now 6 1/2 months old and is doing great. Although he is behind developmentally, he is a miracle and I'm bless to have him with me.
My prayers are with you and your family.
x

Anonymous said...

Hi. I came across your blog as i too have a bicornuate uterus and have suffered 2 miscarriages. I now after reading your story i simply cannot stop crying. I am so sorry you had to go through this but you are a blessed woman and i am sure your little boy is happy in heaven looking down upon all of you and making sure his brother is ok. God bless you and your family on earth and heaven

Laterria James said...

Tears flow as i read this story i had 28 weekers twin GIRLS 1lb 6oz and 1lb 7oz. It very hard to deal with an earliy birth but i cant imagine losing one. God is good and he has really placed God hands all over the mothers who have earliy babies. Im now Having my second set of Twins a Boy and girl and im praying everyday that God blesses me with healthy babies. Im also going to pray that little Kenny and YOUR famliy will continue on a perfect progression as well love you!!!