5 Minute Breather...

As I get a 5 minute breather (the babies are asleep and the older ones are out "making a fort"), I want to reflect on something that I have learned this past weekend.

My husband had the honor to do all the signs and banners for the NEO Challenger Baseball Tournaments. For all of you that don't know what that is, NEO Challenger is an organization that gives children with handicaps and special needs the chance to have the fun and excitement that kids that don't face a life of special needs. These wonderful children get the chance to play baseball...on a team and if they cant run or hit or catch the ball...its OK. There is no scores to keep, there is no angry parent screaming at the coach, ump or other team because it is to have fun and keep it about the kids. Our eyes were opened wide this weekend...these kids, their parents and siblings were there to have a great time. As I sat at the dance and watched these kids, their families and coaches have fun on the dance floor...wow...this is what life is about! They were happy to be alive, they didn't have to worry about if they were different, and just...I don't know...such miracles. THEY are what life is about! These mothers, fathers, grandparents, siblings....they were so proud of their special needs child...for one weekend, they didn't have to worry about PT/OT, hospitals, or equipment. They didn't have to ward off stares from other people, stupid comments or feel that they were different...they were so perfect!

Tony, my hubby, did these banners for the event...

and these...

A very cool balloon creation that was at the dance...

I finally felt like we fit in somewhere. I met a lot of people, some with harder challenges than us and some with easier, but all in all, were just thankful for what God has given them. Sure, we all want our kids to be perfect in society's eyes...but what is perfect? What is the perfect life? Is it being able to go here or there whenever you want because you don't have to spend the majority of the time at the hospital for appts., therapies or sick visits? Is it not having to deal with a child who cant hear, walk, talk, see without glasses, eat solids, not have any developmental delays and/or needs oxygen when they get sick? Is it never having such horrible flashbacks of being in the NICU and wondering if your child will live or die...and then watching one pass away right before your eyes and unable to, as a parent, be able to save them? Is it being secluded every fall through spring because of fear that your child will die because of RSV or pneumonia just from the common cold? Is it wondering if your child will be one of "those kids" that other kids stare at or make fun of because they walk, talk or act a little different?

Perfect is what you make of what you have. We have lost a child, and have his surviving twin who has many problems that we are working with. To us, Kenny is Kenny...he has his problems which we know he does...everyone can tell us that he "looks just fine"...but we know...we know that he should be walking, talking, eating solids, communicating more with us...but he's not...and that's OK. We are doing the best we can, getting as much help for him as we can...giving up so much for him AND for our other kids because we chose to have our big, beautiful family. Life is not about how much materialistic "stuff" you have...its not about shopping for the newest fashions, getting your nails done every week, buying the newest...whatever. This past weekend was about connecting with the most loving, caring, unselfish and understanding people I have ever come across.

To have a child die in your arms and then be faced with the challenges of having a special needs child ON TOP OF having a large family...it is...humbling.