5/24 update

Hi everyone. Just want to update you on Kenny...since everyone is asking...He is doing EXCELLENT!!!!! I called over to the NICU this morning, and his nurse told me that he had a great night and morning. That they lowered his oxygen on his ventilator to 39%, his blood gas levels are wonderful and that he loves his steroids! Tony says that he will be a baseball player because of all of the "roids"! LOL!!! Anyhow, his brain scan came back clean...no brain bleeds! They took him off the morphine drip and are weening him off of it slowly. If he keeps doing good, they plan on tube feeding him 1cc of my breast milk in a few days...the whole top shelf of the freezer, at the NICU, is filled with bottles that I have pumped...I am quite the milking machine. LOL!!! I'm doing good too. I have my moments of crying, but knowing that Kenny is going good, I feel good. It just seems so unreal, all of this. I was barely pregnant, didnt have any contractions so I didnt really feel like I was having my guys. It is just like...kinda a weird thing that I have a little baby again, but I dont...just weird thats all. Here are some pics:

latest update on our little Kenny

Well, as of this morning....HE IS DOING GREAT!!!! They are giving him steroids and that seems to be doing him wonders! He is down to 54% oxygen on his ventilator and is pulse oxygen level is at 97%. So these last 2 days, he has been getting stonger and stronger! Thank you all for all the prayers and support. We are still definitly not out of the woods, but at least I can breathe a sigh of relief for the time being. Oh...they also did a head ultrasound on him to see if he had any brain bleeds...and his little brain is perfect! My little Kenny is a fighter and he has all of you to thank, for all the prayers and also his angel twin, Nick who is with him, strengthening him....always.

My bad day today

Boy oh boy...seems like this is going to be an on going thing....This mornings update on Kenny: They put him back on 100% oxygen (up from the 66% yesterday). He had a bad night last night. They are putting him on a morphine drip because he has been agitated and slightly in pain from the oscillator pulsating his little lungs and body. Guys, I don't know how much my little baby can take of this. I am having a HORRIBLE day today. Unable to stop crying. I feel bad because I am not pregnant anymore, and I should STILL be. I feel bad that I cant feel my boys kicking me anymore, and they should still be. I feel bad that I don't have them here, at home, with me...they should be. I cant hold, touch or even kiss my babies..one forever and the other for a long time. I feel bad that I will never know what Nick would look like or act. I feel bad that all these "life-saving" treatments will do more harm to my little guy than good. I am trying to keep telling myself that it wasn't my fault that they were born early, but it's not working. I carried them, I should of been able to keep them in me for a few more weeks. What did I do so wrong in life for all of this to happen to me and Tony. I am having a really hard time with everything that has and is happening to us right now. Why couldnt God just let me have a miscarriage way back in December, when I thought I was having one! Sorry....I just had to write out my feelings.

Kenny opened his eyes

My little man opened his eyes tonight!!! I am so excited! Just had to share.

A bad night

The doc just called and told me that he had a very bad night. They switched his ventalator to an oscilator and now he is on 90% oxygen. I am so scared. I dont want to lose him too!!! Please say a prayer or 20 for him.

Kenny so small

Here are some pics of Tony and me touching Kenny...Just to give you an idea of how small he is. He has his central line in and is on antibiotics. Last night and this morning he wasn't doing very well, but they got him stable and comfortable.

funeral pics

Hope I dont offend anyone on here...My dad took some pics of the funeral today so here is a couple...

Nicks funeral is today

And I really dont know if I can handle it! I am dreading this day!I never thought I'd see my childs name in the death notices...IT FREAKING SUCKS!!!!http://obits.cleveland.com/Cleveland...sonID=87949992
On the other hand...Kenny is still stable. He is on 30% oxygen on his ventilator and is getting his central line put in today. They were supposed to do it when he had his heart surgery, but couldnt get it coordinated with the surgeons, so it will be this morning. *sigh* Today is a bad day for me.:11: Sorry to come on here complaining, I am just heartbroken. Thats all.Love you all.

Kenny made it through surgery

He is doing real good. He lost some weight, now he is 1 lb 4 oz. but is a strong little guy! So thanks for all the prayers...keep 'em coming! Here are some pics from today...after the surgery. Now I'm off to the funeral home for my little Nicky

Kenny is having heart surgery

He has what they call, PDA. So today at 1:00, they are doing this surgery on him to close a unneeded valve on his heart. They are also putting in a central line so they don't have to poke him with needles all the time. I am so nervous!

5/7/07

Hi everyone...Well first off, thanks for all the prayers. It has been REALLY hard for us. Today, we are going to the funeral home to make the arrangements for Nick. Kenny is (knock on wood) still hanging on. He is having some problems with a heart murmur and a couple of other things. The nurse told me this morning that he has an angel watching over him. I am so sad and scared that I am going to lose him too! I feel like I am in a bad dream. I just wish I could wake up and I am still pregnant. My c-sec incision hurts, my boobs hurt because after 5 kids, I decided that pumping my milk would help them...even though Kenny cant have any for a LONG time. I don't want any of this to be happening to me.Here is a picture of Kenny, please keep him in your prayers.

A very sad day

It's me, Michele. I just want to thank you all so very very much for all your prayers and stuff for the hospital. As you all know, yesterday my worst nightmare came true...Nick passed away. I just held him and loved him. I am SO SO SO SAD! Long story short...his lungs were filling up with blood and they couldnt stop it. My heart is broken! I'll be writing you a little later tonight.

Their here!!!

Michele had Kenny and Nick yesterday morning at 10:29 and 10:30am. Both boys weighed in at 1 pound 7 oz. each. (not sure of the length)Michele is doing well. She had to have a c-section so she is understandably sore. The boys are doing well also! They are both on ventilators and Bili lights. Michele will update you when she gets home in a few days. She asked me to come on and update all of you that are her "family"! Dianes computer is down and Michele said you would all understand about her husband not doing this! Please keep all of them in your thought and prayers! God Bless all of you! Our oldest sister took 6 pictures of the boys. I can't tell you who is who, sorry!