Static tinsel fights with my family (by rubbing feet with socks on the ground and holding the tinsel until it starts to rise from static...then go up to a family member and shock them), blowing the tinsel ever so gently to the top of the tree that couldn't be reached, and laying under the tree when it was all done...just staring at the lights and the shiny sparkle of it all. Hoping and dreaming of what Christmas would bring to me.
This month, I feel like I'm reverting back to my childhood...hoping and wishing. I'm even throwing in a few prayers and novenas. Oh how simple childhood was.
This has been a crazy and very stressful month. I say this with a smile (fake but still a smile for the kids) and my blood pressure sky high. This year we have no cookies made, no stockings hung or even any ornaments from past years on our tree...which by the way is a real tree this year and not our pre-lit (with the lights cut out) fake tree that we've had for years. See...everything we have is in boxes...that of which I just mentioned and then there is everything in my kitchen...spices, baking supplies, dishes, cups...everything. Everything from basement to bedrooms is packed up and most is in a pod sitting in our backyard...closing us money daily. Now...mind you, it has been a tedious task packing up 9 people's belongings and 18 years of living in this house, but it has also been something we are all excited about! We all want to start a whole new adventure together...that is...until this past couple of days.
Everything was going great. We had a closing date of 18th and the buyer was supposed to take possession of our house on the 23. That never happened. Instead, the buyer was to go to another lender and get approved. We signed yet another purchase agreement for a closing of or around the end of December to Jan. 3rd. Ok...we can deal with it...so now we can get a small tree for the house and kids and relax a bit for Christmas.still, not cookies to be made because of everything packed away...but it's ok...we're still moving.
At this point I decided it would be a wonderful experience...and memorable one to go pick out a real tree at the tree lot...with all 7 kids. It the freezing cold...10 degrees evening hours. In the van, our pre teens and teenagers have their earbuds plugging up their ears so they're silent except for our oldest who voiced his opinion of how stupid it was for all of us going (see, he is at the age where having a big family is embarrassing, were embarrassing, the 12 passenger van is embarrassing, going anywhere is embarrassing...I get it...so I just smile and keep saying to myself, "this is what memories are made of" as he bluntly speaks his teenage attitude point of view quite loudly, "this is really stupid. You and dad should have just gotten a tree earlier today...by yourselves...without us...when it was lighter...and warmer!" Haahaa...he was probably right...but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of letting him know that.
So...we get there and all pile out of the big green machine, and scatter about the tree lot. It took about a full 3 minutes before Tony and Taylor (16 and 14) were back in the van freezing their butts off. My husband is looking at trees that looks like bushes or at least in my eyes, and I'm looking at these monster trees that would be perfect in a a house triple the size of ours. Alas, we found one that was a perfect fit. A seven foot Douglas Fir. Not too big but not too small. The guys at the tree lot netted it up nice and in a little bundle and Tony brought it over to the van. At this point, we were all frozen solid. Tony opened the back...nope..didn't fit. Brought it around to the side...just a little too big...by about 3 feet! What to do? What to do? Morgan and husband walk over to the workers, explained to them about our dilemma. The one kid offered to drive it in his pickup truck back to our house. Finally...some Christmas spirit in someone! Nicest.thing.ever!
The next day, I put it up. It's very nice. Plain because there are only a few ornaments from the kids this year on the tree. Everything else is, like I said, packed up in the pod. We don't have anything else out except the tree. Nice, but not enough to bring on the Christmas spirit...because after we got the tree up, we were told the buyer of our house wanted to back out. After a few different contracts for closing dates have been issued! I've spent a few nights and days sick to my stomach with a horrible stress migraine. We have EVERYTHING packed in boxes. We have Kenny's busing and schooling set up for when school resumes in January. We paid the house insurance , the pod, the earnest money, and other expenses on our current house that the buyer wanted/requested AND on the house we're buying! We have to much to lose at this point in the game! In order for us to buy our dream home, we had to sell ours...which was to happen...the closings were to happen on.the.same.day! So now what? Some say not to worry, was was meant to happen will. we so badly want it and need it to happen. We busted our butts to make it happen. Our house looks great, everything...I mean everything is packed up. We need the buyer to realize that this is affecting our entire life! We've envisioned our new year in a new house, a fresh start. The kids were excited to pick out the colors for their own rooms, they would be close to the schools, the police, fire and rec center is right there too. I was excited to make it our home and my husband was excited to finally have a nice amount of space to expand his business. We wanted this more than anything for the new year...and now, it's teetering on someone we don't know but pray that he will buy our house as promised on the contract.
That's where we stand...a few days before Christmas.
The tree is up and I just wish Santa would bring us the buyers closing and the closing of the home that we are so very close to having. Not just my selfish wants but for our family to have a fresh start. We don't want to be on top of each other and in each others personal space any more. yThe kids are getting older and they had dreams of this house. I want to make it a reality for all of us. So come on St. Joseph, patron saint of house sales...grant us some help. A closing would make our Christmas that has been torn upside down...something we can all love. I know it's a materialistic want. I am not a materialistic person. But for once in my life, I...we (Tony and I) have worked so hard, given up so much....that is would be such an adventure for us.
So, as I sit here looking at our perfect but not so perfect Christmas tree decorated very lightly with only lights, gold garland, some ribbon and tinsel...I am reminded that we will make the best of this situation because, our family is much like the tree...we are big (the number of us), we are simple...We don't have a lot, but our faith, hope and dreams are much like the tinsel on our tree.
It is capturing the colors of the lights, making our tree the most beautiful we've ever had...we will shine brighter than any negativity, major trauma or bad luck that we've faced for years. We will keep the faith.
So this year, we won't have cookies. We won't have stockings hanging and we won't have our new house...yet....but we will, for the first time in 18 years...have tinsel!
I am a SAHM who has been married to Tony (my soul mate) for over 15 years.
I am a twin and so is my husband. We are both artists, have 6 siblings (just the exact opposite)and now we have 7 beautiful living children and 8 angels (7 from miscarriages and Nick, Kenny's twin, who passed away 2 days after birth from complications to extreme prematurity. All of my children were born @ 34 weeks, except for the twins, they were 23 weekers and my last daughter, who was born at 36 weeks!
My family is my life! I have 6 amazing sisters and 1 brother (who is now taking care of my son Nick and my miscarried babies in heaven for me). Now I know why John died 24 years ago...it was to prepare my family and I for Nick's passing...and to be there for Nick.
I love gardening...every year I go nuts and plant a huge garden. I love jewelry and headpiece designing. My dream is to one day own my own bridal headpiece and custom jewelry boutique!
I love all crafts, painting, drawing, digital scrap booking, photography and...well...I just love to be creative.