Friday, February 3, 2012

A reason for all of this...

As you know, I've been having a hard time of things lately and feeling like I have no sense of self...who I am. I feel like just a mom, a maid, a mother of an angel baby, a caregiver to a special needs child...not exactly what I hoped to be...minus the mother part. Life has been overwhelming as of lately and I let myself fall into the self-pity trap. Part of this is because of lack of sleep, having been sick for a few weeks, and then there are some other issues...
So as of this morning, after a WONDERFUL full night of sleep, (Yes, Kenny only woke up one time...and no, I didn't have his feed hooked up to him. I think it was also because he woke up at 5 AM the day before, and he was going, going, going all day long...until he finally passed out at 7:30!) I decided to start the day off on a positive note. I worked out (which I stopped for a few weeks), and started to really work on potty training Gina...yeah...no comments about her being 3.5 and still in diapers...she is very close to her brother Kenny and he is nowhere near being potty trained, so she feels/felt that she didn't want/need to use the toilet. Well, she went "number 2" on the potty twice already and is doing an awesome job! YAY!
Then, to top everything else off, I decided to help Kenny learn to put his shoes on....
Don't mind the sideways filming...I had no idea what I was doing.

The reason for this post is to let everyone know that I still feel like my life has been put on standstill and that I really don't have time for myself and what I REALLY want to do....but helping my kids...seeing how excited Gina is for going on the potty and especially Kenny with working on putting his shoe on....I am the proudest mommy ever. My reason for being here is this...and I was chosen to be a mommy to a special needs/chronically ill child for a reason. My days are filled with teaching, helping, medications, calming, lots of worrying and stress...its basically like taking care of a really sick & colically baby for 4.5 years,  but I just love my kids and my "job" until I can fulfill my dream of owning a headpiece/bridal store.

Just look at the look of pride and excitement on his face! I heart my miracle!

2 comments:

Unknown said...

You ARE truly amazing! You were put here to teach the rest of us about love, compassion, patience, faith, and most of all...STRENGTH! Your older children are learning to become the exceptional person you are by watching daily. Granted, I bet you feel like they think you are a pain...that will change when they get older. ;-) I don't know about everyone else, but you teach me every day that no matter how bad it seems, you can pull through with faith and love. You get up every day, no matter how much you wish it where different, and you fight the good fight with all you have. And THAT, my friend, makes you incredible to me! I Love You!

Deedy said...

M...He is SO proud!!! I smiled through the whole video...way to go mama and Kenny!...proud Nannie to twin grandsons born last month, and your hwr friend...D