I have learned that I am a very simple person. I am not high maintenance at all. I can go without...because I have. I have learned that hope is good. I have learned that it takes years to build up trust and it only takes suspicion to destroy it. I've learned to let go. I've learned that people are more important than things. I have anxiety due to Kenny's chronic health issues and some other things that were made up by others, but have found that I am much stronger than those anxieties. I have learned that I cant and don't like to hold a grudge but don't get me to the point of no return (my Italian side is very stubborn). I've learned that I can go for days with very little sleep and can still smile. I have learned that I have a strong faith, but sometimes question what really happens after one dies...but still has faith that there is something more. I have learned that I really miss those that have passed away these last few years...and even longer (Nick, Jerry, Tony's uncle Bob...etc...). I have learned that I do have OCD, PTSD, and PMS. That I never liked any kind of change, but is now starting to think that some change is good...everything changes...its us to keep traditions going. I have also learned that letting go of things (emotions, feelings, and also objects)is also a good thing...this way, I don't feel like I'm a hoarder of all those things. Bottling up things is terrible. Oh...I have also learned that I love to have fun, laugh, play, dance, and look at things with a fun twist...and if that makes me "flighty" and carefree...so be it ;)
I have learned that friends come and go...but are never that far away and are never out of my life for ever. I have learned that FB, this blog, and other message boards that I am on, there are amazing people that have interesting lives who have been put in my life for a reason. Everyone has a story. Everyone has issues. Everyone needs an ear and an open heart. I have learned that not everyone agrees. I have learned that when times get tough...I have a tremendous amount of friends and people that care...I love each and every one of you! I have learned that there are some crazy people out there too. I have learned that one CAN have over 500 friends on FB and still know and communicate to each and every one of them. I have learned that one cant have too many friends and acquaintances!
I have learned that my house is falling apart and has many problems but its still our home...its still a roof over our heads. Its still the first house that Tony and I fell in love with 16 years ago and made it into our home. Its where we brought each one of our babies home to...its ours. I have learned that Magic erasers are a miracle cleaning tool...along with Murphy's Oil Soap and 409. I have learned to not wash the floors BEFORE a party (duh...what was I thinking?!). I have learned that in our house...laptop computers don't last long. I have learned to wear slippers because old hardwood floors and ceramic tile gets really cold. I have learned that I can live without all the new gadgets, furnishings, clothing, outdoor stuff. I have learned to replace screens, use a leaf blower, Spackle like a pro, fix a garbage disposal and throw out clutter.
People in general:
I have learned that people jump to conclusions about waaay too much of things they know nothing about...but think they do. I have learned that there is still a lot of discrimination (against ALL sorts of people...black, Mexican, gay, and yes...even white), I have learned that looks aren't everything...inner beauty is electrifying! I have learned that rumors suck and words and bad actions really do hurt. I have also learned that there are very good people in this world that truly care and wont try to hurt you with words and actions and that nurses are some of the strongest and loving professional people around.
I have learned that some are healthy and some are not. I have learned that doctors really don't know what is going to happen as a micro preemie ages. I have learned that getting a g-tube was one of the best things we could have done. I don't feel stressed with trying to get him to eat even a couple bites of baby food when he wont. I learned that the eye surgery was also another great thing we did for Kenny. I have learned that although our micro preemie is three and a half, its like having twins when he and Gina are together...simply amazing. I have learned to be my child's (well, actually children's) voice(s) where ever and whenever need be. I have learned to expect the unexpected and to not make definite plans...ever! I have learned that having a 3" memory foam pad without a waterproof sheet when giving nighttime feeds does not make for a good mix. I have learned that breathing treatments twice a day for 3.5 years is just as annoying as the first time. I have learned that we have absolutely no more space in our house for all of Kenny's medical supplies. I have learned to expect the unexpected. I have learned that no matter how many times you wash your hands and use Germ-X and paper towels, chances are...they are still going to get sick. I have learned all the medical terms so maybe I should become a nurse...nah.
I have learned that big families are the bomb (in a good way)! I have learned that my kids will never be lonely. I have learned that my kids LOVE their extended family...aunts, uncles, cousins...because we try and choose to keep them in their lives. I have learned that I really miss my family who live out of town...these gas prices and cost of living really put a damper on traveling. I've learned that eating out is just not worth it. I have learned that the house is always going to be very loud...and sometimes messy (not to the point of hoarders or child services messy, but just messy) until my OCD kicks in. I have learned that I make large amounts of food...but it all gets eaten. I have learned that when parents aren't around....in laws are just as good. I have learned that my kids are very well behaved in church. I have also learned that it really amazes some people that we have 7 kids. I have learned that laughing about our worries makes everything better. I have learned that I cant be the perfect parent that I thought I was...so I have just done my best. I have learned that Ground meat, pork & beans and noodles make a great dinner for very cheap! I have learned that I will never be completely caught up with laundry...every week I have about 15 loads...at least. I have learned to use coupons when shopping...and its actually pretty fun!
I have learned that its not what you have but what you make of it. I have learned to not count on anything but take each day...each life's surprise...with a deep breath and jump in with both feet. Also pray...pray not to get something or have something go your way (because I've tried that...it doesn't work), but for God to give you strength to get through.
Thanks for reading if you made it through. This new year should be interesting with all new learning circumstances!