I have had so many interesting things that have happened to me these last couple of months....ah..ok...years! It started when my brother passed away...that's when the street lights would just start either going off or on right when we'd be under it. Then just recently 11:11 or 1:11 on the clock...I'd get a strange urge to look at the clock at that exact moment. A few weeks back, I was on here reading Kenny and Nicks birth story...when all of a sudden the screen went white. I looked at the time...11:11! It may just be a coincidence, but I want to think that it is something more.
I want to clear some preconceptions that some people may have made towards myself, my husband and our decision to have so many kids. I don't feel I should have to explain ourselves, but I feel I need to because there are certain people that feel so strongly against how many kids we have and the idea of us having anymore.
"Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and His church." That was one of the vows that Tony and I agreed upon when we were married. Before then, I never wanted children. I was scared, I was young and I was not married. I had not taken those vows which have become very important in our lives. Its right up there with Honoring each other as husband and wife for the rest of our lives. We hold our vows very near and dear to our hearts. I am not addicted to getting/being pregnant, I know I have a bicornuate uterus but my doctor felt that it wasn't something to be operated on or fixed. Through each pregnancy, I have been monitored very closely...the babies have been monitored and they have all been born(minus the twins) for the most part, healthy. To tell Tony and I that we are wrong in having our children, or to not have what we have...is wrong. I do not judge, my husband doesn't judge. Having Kenny and Nick was a natural fluke...I want to say a blessing from God. I was told I would years ago that having twins would just not happen within my body...and yet, it did. I did not go and seek IVF to have them implanted inside my womb. So to tell us or shun us about this is just wrong. I don't go around telling anyone...not anyone how many kids they should or shouldn't have. I would never question why some people choose to have just a couple kids...or even none at all. I would never question if a woman chose to have her tubes tied or what kind of birth control was being used. My husband and I are very happy. Our children are very happy. I asked them yesterday if they felt bad in anyway (and to be honest) that they come from a big family living in a small home...you know what they told me...each one said "NO" Not at all. They enjoy each other and even though they get on each others nerves, like all siblings do, they love having each other.
Am I worried about college...no. Its as simple as that. When the time comes for them to go to college...they will work to put themselves through. In this day in age, barely anyone has $$ put away for their kids college funds. We are sending 5...yes 5 kids to private school, in the process of paying off our house in a few years and never ask ANYONE for help in any way (except for the home makeover)! We have gone without the wants and stuck to the needs and you know what? It isn't that bad. My kids are not "without".
With Kenny being a special needs child...I have heard, well haven't you learned from having him? Ummm...I've learned that I have more love to give to all of my kids. I have learned to not take life for granted. To accept what happens in life...through having a chronically ill child who needs round the clock care to the hospital stays...but most of all...the smiles, hugs and small accomplishments that he makes. I have also heard, "aren't you scared of having a child so late in life...what about downs syndrome? For that question I say, If my doctor felt that I was in danger or my unborn child (if I was pregnant, which I am not) was in danger...I would definitely NOT get pregnant...but there is no danger. If I had a child with Down Syndrome...It would not change anything. As an eye opener...my son, Kenny is DEVELOPMENTALLY DELAYED...in years past, it was known as retarded. My son goes to school with several beautiful kids with downs...I don't see it as a problem, a bad thing...I have been there...I see how beautiful and loving these children are...there is no real difference between downs and a child like Kenny. So no, I don't think of this.
Another one is that I don't have enough time or love to give to all of my kids...well, for that...I just have to say...You are not me or my husband. You do not see the time spent with each one of our kids. They are helped with their homework, taken to clubs or sport events, have sleepovers, and are spent with quality time by my husband and myself. We even volunteer together...to help others.
It seems that the people that are not or never have been in a certain situation are the ones to judge and condemn the most.
We are a strong family...my husband and I are very close and the love shows through to our children. I have never regretted having any of my kids. They are all made because of the love my husband and I share. This month we will be married 15 years...on top of knowing each other for several years before that...so...what we do, is for ourselves and not for others to outspokenly judge, condemn, make up lies, try to break us down. I have this blog because I have many friends and followers who have been in my shoes with a micro preemie or a loss of a child. I love writing and will not stop. I write about my family, poems that I think of pertaining to my life, and our daily life as a huge family so family that lives far away can keep updated. If you are only here to pick apart and "tattle" on us...you can just stop because it doesn't affect us in any way, shape or form. To those that of whom I am speaking of...You were wrong...you know you are wrong...and we are not affected by you. We will never be. Right always prevails wrong and your actions are proving it. So now you can do what you promised (and stay away) because we are living our life and have no time, room, space or care for drama.
On a lighter note...we are soooo looking forward to Christmas eve and Christmas day. The younger kids are in the nativity play at the church on Christmas Eve and Tony will be serving! Not to mention the cookies that we will be making...I have been getting one or two things of sprinkle and frostings everytime we go shopping...