I now have 4 babies in heaven...my Nick and the 3 miscarriages that I've had. I understand and have come to a calming reality that I am alright with this. I am alright with the what ifs, the seeing the strong heartbeat one day then nothing the next (a little disheartened, but alright). I'm alright with the ending of this pregnancy. If this was 4 years ago...I'd be a crying mess...but today, I am alright. God has given me some of the greatest gifts of all...to feel...to understand...to accept that He is in total control of my life. Sure, I do things the way I want (the Italian in me)but overall, there is a plan for me...for all my losses, for all that Tony and I are going through. And...we are really alright with it. The hardest part for me is the physical pain that I must endure. I have always had D&C's, so this natural process is all new to me. But I have total faith in my doctor. He knows me and I know him. He feels this is the best for me. I will get through this...Tony and I will get through this.
Update on Olivia
4 weeks ago