Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
A few days before Christmas and all through the house...
all the kids were going stir crazy, not quiet like a mouse.
the stocking were knocked down by the chimney without care...
in hopes that their mom wouldn't notice they were there.
The children were sleeping, snuggled up in OUR bed,
while visions of alone time danced in OUR heads.
Tony at work and three kids in our bed,
just started a night of sleeplessness is what I had said.
When in the crib there rose such a clatter...
I jumped from the bed to see what was the matter..
Just a step away, I got there in a flash
tore open my knee and left a big gash.
The moon shining in through the window at night
added to the turmoil that was my worst fright.
When what to my very sleepy eyes should appear
a coughing, crying Kenny with a breathing treatment so near
With Gina in one arm and Kenny in the other
I knew in a moment that this was a call for their mother (me).
No coffee to drink and the house oh so small...
all kids would be up in no time at all.
Now Morgan! Now, Gina! Now, Kayleigh and Sydnie!
Come on Tony, and Taylor, and Kenny, I plea!
Back to your own beds, on this very hectic night.
Calgon..take me away, take me away, take me from this plight!
And then in a twinkle I heard him come in
My wonderful husband with coffee (and gin) *not really...just had to rhyme "in". lol
As I turned around while crying out loud
my hubby held me tight, made my love for him proud.
Our life has been tough, every year it gets worse
sometime we think that we are under a curse.
The house we must sell in hopes to get by
We want more for our kids, to better we must try.
The cookies not baked, the cards are not out
the wrapping is not done, Oh darn! I must shout!
The music is playing some old classic tune,
seems like the loads of laundry will last until June!
As Christmastime comes, we reflect on the past.
Joy, love and peace with some good health that will last.
remembering those we've lost along the way
We miss and we love you is what we will say.
So even though life isn't so great
I give thanks to our God for giving us our eight!
I give thanks to God also, for family and friends...
I am glad that you're in our lives as this year ends!
Please know in our hearts that you all will always be
this life is about loving and caring you see.
the sickness, the bad luck, the financial strain
is just a short step to everlasting gain.
Even though our lives are busy with way too much strife
I want to be apart of everyone's life.
a true friend, a good wife, and great mommy too...
is what I will strive for, to reach...yes, to do.
From our family to yours, may Gods light shine so bright
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I know that many of these years have been tough...emotionally, financially, physically...but this is just a test...we WILL get a nicer, bigger home...we WILL always have Nick in our lives...we WILL have a happy and healthy family...we WILL get everything we ever wanted (hopefully)...and WE WILL do it together, forever!
I love you, love you with my heart and soul (even though I am a brat sometimes) ;)
I also want to wish my brother-in-law, Johnnie who is more of a brother to me than an in-law...a VERY Happy Birthday...Love ya tons!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
1)Lose his twin brother. The best gift I could have received from God is my twin. We went through life and did everything together. I never felt alone, ever. My Kenny will never know what that is like...I feel so sad for him.
2)End up with hearing loss. Without his hearing aids, he cant hear birds chirping, soft music playing, or even the sounds of wind hitting the trees or leaves...its not fair!
3)Have developmental delays where he cant talk, walk, or do things like others his age..he sits and bangs his head out of frustration..how can that be good?!
4)Have such bad lungs that he is on meds two times a day just to keep them open and strong...but usually ends up in the hospital 2 times a year or more.
5)Now he has Epilepsy. Meds twice a day and who knows when the next seizure will strike.
5)Cant eat solids and not able to gain weight. Doesn't God know, in order for his lungs and brain to develop correctly, he need to gain weight and fat? Without it, he will continue to not develop mentally and physically. And his lungs will continue to give him trouble throughout his life...they stop growing at a certain age...so when that age strikes, whatever his lungs are like at that time, they will always be like that. *sigh*.
Then I sit and think...Will he ever walk, talk or even have some sort of normal life. Did we do the right thing by keeping him alive all those months in the NICU? I know we did because of his beautiful smile he gives us, but I pray to God that we did what He wanted us to do. I want the best for him and for the rest of my kids. I want him to have girlfriends, get jobs, you know...have a normal life. What will life be like for him...or for the rest of our kids for that matter. Why is it that some families have an easy time at things...money, success, health and happiness, while others like ours, have it so tough? I have to say those 3 things...in that order because with money comes health...you can get better medical care, have the necessities of keeping a sick child healthier, etc... Also, with money you are more successful in your career...money makes money...you cant start and keep a business without first having money...(example...Tony wanting to better his business...cant get the better equipment without money).
It can be overwhelming at times...if I think about it.
OK...now that I have aired out my sadness and frustrations I do have to be very thankful for many things (I have to do this or else I'll get very down on myself and life in general)...
1)My children. They are beautiful, loving and very polite...not at home...lol...just when they are around others...and that's OK!). Also my husband. He is amazing. A hard worker...a caring, loving man who would give the shirt off his back for anyone. Even though he doesn't like animals...I love him with all my heart and soul. He keeps me going. We have the same hopes, dreams and goals which is totally cool! And after being together 20 years...married for 14, 8 kids later...we still have that flame!!!
2)My family. My parents and in-laws, sisters and nieces and nephews...They have come through when we really needed them...physically needed them AND emotionally...there have been many times when Tony and I were at the worst of life...the whole NICU stay, Nicks death, several injuries from head gashes to slivers, with the kids...to hospital stays and financial hardships...to just being an ear to listen to me blabber on and on about this or that...that they have been there for us.
3)My friends. My old friends from years past to recent friends...I thank God for you all. Even though, more so than not, I've been MIA because of all the sh$$ that is going on here at the Tomecko house. I feel very blessed to have all of you in my life. At times I am not that great of a friend...I know that. I have been moody, down to the point where I don't want to call or talk to anyone. But you all have still stood by me and I love you all for that!