Kenny was "unofficially, officially" diagnosed with Autism and Cerebral Palsy. He has that, and then the whole chronic lung disease, hearing loss, speech delay, feeding issues (throws up with anything solid or lumpy), unable to walk (but the doctor did tell me that he feels he will eventually walk...its just gonna take a long time), and acid reflux...not to mention, we have to get his eyes re-examined soon. I am at a loss for words. I can just imagine what Nick would have been like if he were to have survived...Kenny didn't have any brain bleeds but had MANY infections and other problems....I I just feel horrible that Nick would probably have been a vegetable. DARN life. I am trying to see why this is happening...I just want some good news for Kenny for once...I really want something specially good happen to him...
What is life going to have in store for Kenny? I guess only God knows. I am going to do my best to help him....but I feel myself backing away emotionally from him, I don't want too, but m y defense mechanism has just kicked in...I just love him soo much and I just want him to be alright. I don't want to lose another baby. It's a very scary feeling.
We put Kenny in his walker, but there is barely any room for him to move around! I hope this Toddler program will help him...again, feeling bad that I cant do it all for him.
Ok...now that I have totally wrote out my feeling for today, I am going to take a long hot bath and soak my worries away.